Are we ready? Not usually.

So this is Evan's crib. Everyone who comes over laughs because we have his photo in there under the mobile, but this is the best we can do for now! We tease about how he is quiet as a mouse and ALWAYS sleeps through the night!! Such a good baby! My friend asked me if I was ready to get up in the middle of the night again, I said "sure, for 2 or 3 nights until he gets used to our schedule!" ha ha. Hopefully he will get into a good rhythm quickly but I have no idea what to expect? I'm sure I am unprepared, just like I was with the other three! One day at a time--right?

As you might imagine, we are talking to a lot of people about adoption these days and many of the families express an interest in adoption for their family. Two of the main concerns that come up are cost and difficulty (paperwork, waiting...etc.). I remember what Russell Moore said at the talk he gave at our church "just DO IT! It's not as expensive or as difficult as you think it is!" and I agree. The paperwork is cumbersome, just like taxes. You have to find documents that you don't know where they are or how to get them. You figure it out. You have to fill out long forms and sometimes you don't know the answers. You do it anyway. You have to pay fees for lawyers and others working on your behalf. You put the money together just like you do for other things you want and are important to you. Remember the Doritos commercial slogan "we'll make more!"? You do all of this in order to

RESCUE A CHILD WHO HAS NO MOTHER AND NO FATHER AND NOT ENOUGH TO EAT AND MAY NEVER HEAR THE NAME OF JESUS UNLESS YOU RESPOND.

How's that for simplifying the matter? Really. I don't say that as a guilt trip, because not everyone is called to adopt, but if you are feeling that urge, that prompting, than that is probably why you feel guilty as you read this! :) All I'm saying is that if you believe God is leading you to adopt don't let money or difficulty slow you down. It is quite do-able, many others have done it, and God has never been anxious over finances!

Ephesians 3:20-21

²⁰Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, ²¹to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

New info on why our court date failed.

The AGCI case worker just called to let us know she had more info on yesterdays failed court date. She said our birth mother was present but she answered one of the judges questions differently than she had originally answered it on her paperwork at the time of relinquishment. He asked how many aunts and uncles she had and she said five or six and her paperwork said two. Wow, we had no idea they were so particular. I wonder if she even understood? I feel bad for her, now she has to make a second trip to Addis (8 hours).

What I learned about parenting from "flunking" Ethiopian Court...

Today was our court day in Ethiopia where we hoped a judge would legally make Evan our son. We have prayed and prayed and had such phenomenal prayer support from friends and family I thought surely God would grant our request! Remember the persistent widow?? :) But today wasn't our day and it didn't happen as we had hoped. Our case worker is in Africa right now so one of the other CW's called today at 4:15pm to let us know that we didn't "pass". She said "the birth mother didn't respond correctly" and that she didn't know exactly what that meant but would try to find out more and get back to us. The bottom line is that the judge rescheduled our court date to Wednesday, February 17. This was good news since I have heard of families waiting another month for a new date. The agency had prepared us that only 1/2 of the families pass court on the first date due to circumstances outside of the family or agency control. So we knew this was a fair possibility. My prayer from the time we knew the date was that God would help me to TRUST HIM in the outcome. This morning in the shower I wondered if I should tell myself that we wouldn't pass and "prepare myself" for that and then if we did it would be especially sweet. I think of myself as an optimist, so I find it difficult to do that. Besides, I really didn't want to play mind games with myself, I just wanted to believe that His way is best and TRUST HIM!

We just studied John 13 this week and one of our principals was that Jesus knows all things and loves unconditionally. We saw this as He washed the disciples feet, even Judas, who He knew was going to betray Him. He knew what was in his heart, that he was insincere, and yet He loved Judas to the very end. Knowing that Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever (Hebrews 13:8) I can KNOW that He will respond to me in the very same way! His response to me will be based on 2 things:

1. His knowledge of all things.

2. His love for me, my family, and Evan-- unconditionally.

So when she called today and I heard the tone of her voice I thought "this isn't going to be good news" but I pushed that thought out of my head and returned to "neutral". When she said we didn't pass I accepted it as matter of fact and knew this was God's decision, not a judge's, not the agencies, not the birth mothers, but God's, for He is in control of all things. Since I know He loves me unconditionally I can rest that He is working all things together for good in this circumstance. Wow! Even I was surprised at the peace I felt. The CW seemed surprised too, I think she expected me to cry (for once I remained dry!).

So what did I learn about parenting from this?

I learned that God wants me to accept His sovereign decisions without throwing a fit, a tantrum, or questioning Him as if I know better (not that we can't ask questions) and in doing this I show Him the respect, honor and trust He deserves! What He showed me is that He wants Rusty and I to train our children to respond to us this way as well. When we answer our children with "no" or "not right now" they too should respond respectfully and without clamor because they trust that we love them and know what is best. Like everything else, if they can't respond to us that way, how will they ever respond to God that way? But this will take training on our part. Correcting them when they respond incorrectly and TEACHING them, guiding them HOW to respond correctly. After all, isn't everything easier to learn at eight than at thirty-eight???

Besides, Angie and Matt (#2) still don't have their court date, so this could just be part of the master plan for us to travel together! They'll pass the first time, we'll pass the second time and all travel together in March....The End. :)

So right now I praise God for knowing what is best all over this big world while I sit here in my bed clueless in Kentucky.

Adoptive Moms in process--Does this look like you?

This is my new "position of choice" in the evenings. I wonder how many of you adoptive-moms-in-process can relate? Look at the supplies all in place--a brownie, a soda, tv remote control, my planner, cell phone, and of course, my laptop--lifeline to all that is adoption related! My fingers itch to blog! After dinner the desire begins and intensifies as bath time rolls around, until finally with all the girls tucked in and prayed for, I can relax and live vicariously through another mom who is actually holding her little one!! Or see photos of someones trip to Ethiopia and Hannah's Hope, read about their hotel, the food, what to pack, or just enjoy their story of how our great God brought them to this place of desiring to add to their family from around the world. What an awesome thing to be able to connect like this!

Hebrews 10:24-25

²⁴And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. ²⁵Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

Do you need an adjustment?

Some days the waiting is hard and it's easy to feel sorry for myself and ask God "why?" I think things like "God, wouldn't Evan be better off at home right now with his family? Why does this take so long? Can't you make it go faster?" So the other day at my Bible Study our leader asked the question "are you in a difficult period of waiting right now?" and my first thought was "YES!! ABSOLUTELY!!" Hear "poor me". Then I heard God's still small voice say to me "really? Is that how you see this? Because I see it as your opportunity to be part of a wonderful work I am doing in this world--maybe you should see it as the PRIVILEGE it is." Wow! It is up to me how I view this. God could have given this opportunity to another family and we would have missed out on the blessing and the privilege to raise Evan, to experience another culture, to see God move, to be His hands and feet...etc. There are so many things to be thankful for and I just need a reminder every now and then that this isn't "torture", this is PRIVILEGE! Do you need a "perspective adjustment" today?

My new favorite quote:

"Sometimes I would like to ask God why He allows poverty, famine and injustice in the world when He could do something about it...but I'm afraid He might ask me the same question." Anonymous

Not too much longer...

Look at these sweet lips!! How can I wait another day to kiss him? Boy I really struggled at the end of nearly 7 weeks at #1 on the waiting list, but I have to say that his photo has carried me along these last 4 weeks! I wondered if it would be harder after we saw him and knew WHO our little Evan was? But, so far, I would say no. The whole key is to keep things in MOTION! As long as it feels like we are moving forward it seems bearable. It really seems like it is going to be real now!

We have been blessed when it comes to photos. We received 6 photos with his referral. Then about a week later the agency passed on 2 snapshots another family had taken of him while they were picking up their child. About a week later we received 2 more photos from a dear, sweet, compassionate mom who took them during her visit to Hannah's Hope! What a treat! Every pic is a special blessing to us!

We are so pleased that Evan is at Hannah's Hope where we are hearing wonderful reports all the time about how terrific their care is and how much the "special mothers" love these little ones. Each special mother is responsible for 3 babies. My friend laughed when she heard this and remarked "his ratio is better there than it will be at your house!!!" :) LOL I am truly looking forward to "my hands being as full as my heart"!

Our Family Prayer Jar

Colossians 4:2

²Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.

My friend Jonda told me that her family had a "prayer jar" where they keep all the prayer requests they are aware of and they draw them out daily for prayer time. I loved the idea! So, at Christmas-time when I got "crafty" with the modge-podge for some other homemade gifts I made, I decided to make one for our family out of a leftover Miracle Whip jar! No one can say I'm not GREEN now! :) I used wrapping paper and modge podge to cover the jar, then just cut out magazine letters for the top, and finished it off with some ribbon! Not the most beautiful craft I've done, but one of my favorites when it comes to it's use! We use it at every meal. Carley (our youngest) prays at breakfast, Paige prays for lunch, and Morgan prays at dinner. They each get to draw out a prayer when it is their turn. I guess when Evan comes home we'll have to incorporate an afternoon snack!

Here's what I've found:

• The girls get SO excited about drawing--it's like winning the lottery!
• In turn, they are SO excited about prayer!
• They are learning to think of others needs and pray for these things at other times throughout the day as well.
• They are actively listening for peoples prayer requests so they can add them to our jar.
• Our family can "see" God working in these situations! As the prayers are answered we are putting them into an ANSWERED PRAYER envelope which I am planning to convert to some kind of foam board for Praise to the Lord!
• This opens up lots of good conversations about how God might choose to answer these prayers and we talk a lot about our motto "be a family of ACTION" to say "how might God want to use US to answer this prayer?". Instead of just praying for them, let's think about how we can be part of the answer!
• We no longer forget about the important needs of our friends and family.
• We are learning to be persistent in prayer