The things that stick.

When we sat down to dinner tonight Rusty began to tell about a famous coach, John Wooden, who died on Friday at the age of 99. He told the girls "I hope you have a marriage like the one I heard about today". John Wooden was married to his sweetheart Nell for 53 years. She was the only girl he ever kissed. She died 24 years ago on the 21st of March. Since then, every month on the 21st he has written her a love letter. Rusty told the girls that Wooden said he never considered marrying again because he could never love anyone the way he loved Nell.http://espn.go.com/video/clip?id=5249532

We talked about faithfulness--what does it mean to be faithful? Why does God want us to be faithful? We explained how the Lord Jesus is faithful, that once we ask Him to be our Lord and Savior that He remains faithful to us to the end. He doesn't change His mind. He doesn't fall in and out of love with us like the old game "He loves me, He loves me not" based on our behavior or performance. He makes a commitment to us, adopts us into His family, and remains committed for all eternity. God wants us to be faithful because He is faithful and He wants us to be like Him.

With tears in his eyes my husband shared with the girls Wooden's final wish was that someone would shave him so he would look nice when he saw Nell. I truly believe this is one of those family moments that will stick in my daughters minds for all time. I believe as they consider a spouse they will recall the conversation their dad had with them on June 8, 2010 and attempt to discern if this man is one who will be faithful to the end.

"Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are," John Wooden

"Clean your room!" and other misunderstood instructions

Recently a mother was visiting our house when I asked my 3 daughters to go upstairs and fold a load of laundry. After they left the room she commented "I wish my kids would help out around the house!" She went on to say that when she told her son to "clean his room" she would find him 20 minutes later in his room playing. The best outcome she could expect was for him to pick up the floor and stuff all the items under the bed, in the closet, or in drawers with no order whatsoever.

Here's what I have learned about this dilemma:

1. Kids do not understand broad concepts like "clean your room" (especially kids under 7). They do understand specific instructions like "put the Barbies in the blue bin". Another broad instruction mothers love to give their kids is "be good". Really? What does that look like? We must be more specific with our expectations when we have small children. Speak real directions that are meaningful in their kid-mind.

2. Flowing from #1...do their things have a "home" where they belong? If you tell your child to "put away the Barbies" do they know where the Barbies are supposed to go? If not, you are making "clean up" very difficult for your child. When their toys have "homes" they are much more likely to be willing and able to put them away. This doesn't have to be some HGTV play room makeover where each bin is labeled and embroidered, it just has to be a system known to the child and taught (and followed) by Mom and Dad.

3. Which brings us to #3...work as a team, especially in the beginning. Everyone likes to be part of a team, to laugh and have fun makes the work go by faster! Rather than sending each family member to a separate room to clean/straighten up, why not move as a team from room to room? This also gives each member an opportunity to "serve" the others! Turn on some music and have fun! Working together gives Mom and Dad the chance to show how the work should be done, to offer tips and guidance, and just build relationship too! Too many times we just bark out orders when it would be much more effective and efficient to say "let's go clean up your room" or "let's get this kitchen cleaned up together--why don't we set the timer for 15 minutes and see if we can beat the clock!!" I believe that kids want to spend time with their parents, especially one on one, so take advantage of that and be productive too!

Taking a break from radio

This Sunday, June 13, will be the final episode of the Contagious radio program on WJMM fm. After much consideration I have decided to stop recording for this "season" of life. I know I have to have an outlet, a way to express myself, so I will be writing more on the blog, as time allows, to share what God is teaching me. The three and a half years of radio programs will continue to be available for download on the website www.contagiousonline.com

Carley's Kiss

May 2010