Contagious!

True Beauty Devotion

2011-06-19T22:20:00.003-04:00

This is a quick devotion I put together for my daughters and I to do over breakfast that I adapted from a chapter in the book "Five Conversations You Must Have With Your Daughter" by Vicki Courtney.

What does it mean to be beautiful? or What does the world say is beautiful? (I usually ask my youngest first and move up to the oldest.)
Read 1 Timothy 4:8
What is God's attitude toward physical exercise? Toward godliness?
What can we do to be spiritually "healthy"?
Which is more important to you, physical health or spiritual health? Why?
Talk about exercise for health benefits, staying fit in order to have energy and good health to serve your family and your God!
Read 1 Samuel 16:6-7
What did God tell Samuel not to look at?
By what standard does God judge beauty?
Talk about the things we do to make our outer self beautiful vs. the things we do to make our inner selves beautiful.
Which do we spend more time on? Why?
Read Psalm 139:14
Watch Dove Evolution You Tube video and discuss the images the media show us and how they are altered. http://youtu.be/iYhCn0jf46U

Behind, Beside, and Beyond

2011-05-30T23:05:00.006-04:00

"It was with good reason God said let the older women teach the younger (Titus 2).

Trial and error is not the best teacher when it comes to marriage and motherhood!"

- Debi Pearl

I agree! I have several "mentor moms" who I call on for wisdom and advice on a fairly regular basis. Women who are ahead of me in this adventure of motherhood. Women whose children are bearing fruit. Women who are like-minded.

I heard it said once that we all need someone who is younger who we are helping along, someone who is ahead of us who helps us, and someone to walk beside us who is in a similar season of life. I think most women are fine in the "alongside" department, but lacking in the other two. Let's not re-invent the wheel, so to speak! Let's learn from each other and avoid some common pitfalls.

Some women ask "how do I find a mentor?" Look around you and find a mom a few steps ahead who is like-minded and is on the road you want to travel and ASK HER! Invite her over for coffee or a lunch date out and pick her brain. Ask if she would be willing to answer some questions for you regarding being a godly wife and mom. I bet she'd be blessed to do it! You may have to meet with a few different ladies before you find a really comfy fit, but it will be worth it! It doesn't have to be anything formal, just a friend you can call on in times of need (and we all have them!)

On the flip-side--are you open to helping someone else? All of us are older than someone! Are you willing to share the wisdom you have gathered thus far?

Two Recipes for Success- Which do you want to make?

2011-05-30T21:33:00.003-04:00

Colossians 3:1-4

Living as Those Made Alive in Christ

¹ Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. ² Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. ³ For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. ⁴When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

Sunday at church we had an amazing sermon that has had me thinking. It really complemented all that God has taught me from the Mother Teresa book. Don't you love when He speaks from all different directions and resources to shape your thinking in an area?

Here is an overview of some of the points my pastor hit me with:

We are easily distracted. We live in a world with too many distractions.
Sometimes the "good stuff" we do can get in the way and keep us from God's "best" for us.
Am I defining my world and my circumstances by Christ and His plan and kingdom or by my own thoughts, feelings, or the world's leading?
Am I seeking His agenda or my own?
Which is more important? My Lordship and my plan or His Lordship and His plan?
Am I choosing to know nothing but Christ and Him crucified (1 Corinthians 2:2) or do I still think I know quite a bit and interject my "wisdom" into all my decisions in spite of what God thinks?
How am I defining success?
The world says "what you see is what you get" meaning if you "look" successful on the outside (a good job, stylish clothes, nice car and home, pretty family, financial security...etc.) then you are successful.
But what does Jesus say about success?
How is success measured in the kingdom?
When I stand before God will He be impressed by this outward "success" or is He looking for something entirely different and I have been "duped"?
What will be important then?

I think of Mother Teresa (since we just finished reading her story) and imagine how pleased the Father must have been with her life's investment. She did not gather up treasures for herself, but gave herself entirely to a mission of loving the unlovable in Jesus name. I compare this to myself. What is my investment? I have known Jesus for 12 years now. I have studied my Bible continuously since He saved me. I have sought ways to share my faith, attended church faithfully, and am raising four children to know and love Him. But I have done all this while remaining in the comfort and safety of my Kentucky home where I live in a gorgeous neighborhood, surrounded by pretty people with plenty to eat and wear. Don't get me wrong, I am not talking about earning my salvation. My salvation is complete and secure in Christ. I am talking about using my life wisely for His glory. Being Jesus hands and feet. Focusing on things above rather than the here and now. It is so easy to get caught up in THIS life and forget that there are those who have yet to hear the gospel and are dying as we speak!

Rusty and I were privileged to hear Dennis Rainey, the founder of Family Life Ministries, speak at an adoption dinner recently and he said something that has really stuck with me. He said that when we are near to something it matters to us and we care, but when we are far away (removed) we lose interest and it is more difficult to care. Basically the old "out of sight, out of mind" mentality. This is exactly why Mother Teresa chose to go and live among the poorest of the poor rather than serving them while living in the convent up on the hill, separate. She wanted to live AMONG the people, eat what they ate, live the way they lived so she would have true compassion for their situation. So as I'm listening to the sermon on Sunday I was thinking...if Rusty and I were on a plane that crashed on a deserted island and we were the only 2 who were un-injured and mobile, we would be up and running, helping the other crash victims. We would do our best to nurse them back to health. It would be a desperate situation that calls for immediate help. Isn't that the truth of the situation we live in today? Around the world there are so many sick, dying, starving, impoverished, orphaned, lost people and here we are able-bodied and equipped with resources to help and yet we have chosen to live separate from the problem. We aren't close enough to see it, to feel it, to have compassion. We have "moved" to the other side of the "island" to our comfy neighborhood and ignored the need hoping "someone else" would help. We make the mistake (or choose to believe) or (allow ourselves to be deceived) of thinking that we don't have what it takes to make a difference. We (want to) think it takes lots of money or special gifts and talents we don't posses. I think this is what God showed me in MT life, she was an ordinary woman with no money, no resources, and no outward "gifting" to set her apart and yet she made a dramatic difference in our world for the sake of Christ. And she did it in a completely unconventional way! No spreadsheets, no goal-setting, no self-promotion, no fancy fund-raising, no catchy slogans or ministry titles, no cross country speaking tour, no ten year plan, no expensive or elaborate building plans or programs. She simply followed God to position herself in a place of need and then set about meeting those needs in a simple, loving way every day. She drew near to the problem no one else wanted to be close to. That is courage. That is love. That is the gospel!

Mother Teresa didn't have the worlds definition of "success", but I feel sure she was a true success in the eyes of our Lord. The question is which version are you striving for?

Colossians 3:1-4 (The Message)

He Is Your Life

^1-2 So if you're serious about living this new resurrection life with Christ, act like it. Pursue the things over which Christ presides. Don't shuffle along, eyes to the ground, absorbed with the things right in front of you. Look up, and be alert to what is going on around Christ—that's where the action is. See things from his perspective.^-4Your old life is dead. Your new life, which is your real life—even though invisible to spectators—is with Christ in God. He is your life. When Christ (your real life, remember) shows up again on this earth, you'll show up, too—the real you, the glorious you. Meanwhile, be content with obscurity, like Christ.

A Real Nice Gal

2011-05-26T20:26:00.003-04:00

We have been studying India in History and just finished reading this book about Mother Teresa. Sadly, I knew almost nothing about this incredible woman prior to this. I knew she was a nun who worked with the poor and that was about it. After reading the book and watching a documentary on her life I am convinced she is the clearest, most beautiful example of humility (other than Jesus) that I have ever heard about.

Humility is such a difficult quality to define, and even more difficult to achieve. Websters defines it as:

1. (n.) The state or quality of being humble; freedom from pride and arrogance; lowliness of mind; a modest estimate of one's own worth; a sense of one's own unworthiness

2. (n.) An act of submission or courtesy. Low in rank or status-"a humble position"

My favorite definition, in fact the only one that has ever been helpful to me, is:

"True humility is not thinking less of myself, but instead, thinking of myself less." C.S. Lewis

Mother Teresa chose to become a nun and lived in the convent for many years teaching in a school on the same grounds in India until one day the Lord called her to give it all up to serve the poorest of the poor on the streets of Calcutta. What I love about this book is that it tells us she was normal. Her first experience with these "untouchables" was in a hospital where an infants foot had been nearly chewed off by a rat. The baby was too undernourished to cry out for help. This case and others like it scared and disgusted her and she vowed she would return to the convent and never come out to the streets again! But soon she sensed God reminding her of the passage from Matthew 25

⁴² For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, ⁴³ I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’

⁴⁴ “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’

⁴⁵ “He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’

What I love about this is the acknowledgment that she was a normal human being as opposed to some unique, one-of-a-kind super-human! Was she special and unique? Oh yes! But was she "special" in some sense that you or I couldn't do the same thing when filled and submitted to the power of Christ? No! She felt the same disgust that any of us would feel in that same circumstance. The difference is, she allowed God to change her, to grow her into a woman who looked past the outer and loved the people in spite of their sickness, their smell, their imperfections.

Because, many times, I think we decide that people like Mother Teresa are "different" than we are and that's why they are able to do these awesome works for God. We make excuses..."well if I had___.", or "if I was ___.", as though there is something fundamentally different in her biological makeup that enables her to do hard work and love it and we just don't have that "special something".

We don't just do it on the BIG scale though, we do it in the smaller areas too. Like marriage, we say "I know the Bible says I should submit to my husbands leadership and I would BUT..." Then we explain why Sally can do it because her husband is the pastor and he is a great Godly man and "if I was married to him..." We say it about weight loss and physical fitness. We see a star lose weight and we say "sure, I could do that too if I had a personal trainer and a chef!" Really? Does that make it easier not to eat the brownies at midnight? Do they sleep with you and hold you down? Mother Teresa compared herself to a "pencil in the hand of God". Let's just admit that God would be pleased to do equally amazing work through you or I if we were but willing to surrender to the same degree. Ouch.

In addition to her humility, which was so beautiful to see in action, here are some other points I learned from her life:

God doesn't force us into His service kicking and screaming. He allows us to be involved and if we will obey we will find ourselves LOVING it! He always blesses our sacrifice. She didn't tolerate this work, she lived for it!
She did not set out to cure the worlds poverty problem or build some kind of ministry empire. She simply saw a need and began to meet it one day at a time.
She did not make long term plans or goals. She did the work that was in front of her today. When she saw a new need she began to move in the direction to meet it too. She didn't know how or when it would happen, she just moved in faith that God would supply.
What she was doing seemed like foolishness to many.
She didn't have money and that was never a concern for her.
She drew near to the people she wanted to serve. She chose to become an Indian citizen, she lived where they lived, how they lived, dressed as they dressed, ate as they ate.
She didn't "recruit" helpers or supporters in an active way, she was too busy doing the work itself. She trusted God to handle all the details.
She worked hard! She slept 2-3 hours per night and prayed 2 hours each morning.
When she had a need she went directly to her knees. She never tried to handle things herself, she depended on the Lord.

After we completed the book we watched a documentary on Mother Teresa's life on Netflix. When it was over my youngest daughter Carley, age 5, said to me "she was a real nice girl huh mom?" This cracked me up since Mother always looked like she was a hundred and twelve years old and she was so much more than nice!! Hilarious!

A man can counterfeit love, he can counterfeit faith, he can counterfeit hope and all the other graces, but it is very difficult to counterfeit humility. --D. L. Moody

How do we know if we have a servant’s heart? By how we act when we are treated like one! Unknown

Everybody can be great... because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace, a soul generated by love. --Martin Luther King, Jr.

2011-05-20T14:38:00.001-04:00

A free invitation card by Smilebox

We are super excited because all 3 girls will be singing in the choir for this performance and Morgan even has a speaking part!! This is her first time to participate in a play so we are looking forward to seeing how things turn out!!

Fun Books

2011-05-19T00:32:00.008-04:00

So I usually don't read books for "fun", I typically read books to learn, but I've been on a break to just enjoy some lighter reading. Plus I am trying not to buy any books but borrow them instead from the library. Where have I been that I didn't know I could get just about any book (older than one year old) from the library even if my branch doesn't carry it? I can request it online and they email me when it is waiting for me at my branch! What a deal! So here's a few I've just finished:

All really quick reads, all very inspirational and interesting. I'm a little hesitant to admit the Kirk Cameron one, but it's not because of his teen idol status (promise), but because of his involvement in the Way of the Master ministry that drew my attention. :)

I may be back...

2011-05-18T23:19:00.006-04:00

I don't want to make any promises I can't keep...

but I'm going to try to get back in the swing of the BLOG!

The world went blurry for a while after we got home with Evan, but that isn't unusual. :) Rusty and I had a discussion about how it takes us about a year to "settle in" when we add a new family member! But we sat down in March (our one year mark) and decided we were ready for a new "adventure", so we'll see what the good Lord has in store for us next! In the mean time, I know it will do me good to have an outlet for my "talk".

So I made some cosmetic changes to the blog, changed the ages of the kids...etc. and now I feel REFRESHED! So, what do you want to talk about? Marriage, parenting, cooking, crafts, God-stories and lessons???

Our 2011 Ten Day Prayer Kickoff!

2010-12-31T12:22:00.005-05:00

I found a short article in a magazine that listed ten different prayer "postures" found in the Bible and we (my 11 year old daughter and I) are going to use it to kick off the new year in prayer!

January 1, 2011 Kneeling 1 Kings 8:54

January 2, 2011 Standing Jeremiah 18:20

January 3, 2011 Sitting 2 Samuel 7:18

January 4, 2011 In Bed Psalm 63:6

January 5, 2011 In Private Matthew 6:6

January 6, 2011 With Others Psalm 35:18

January 7, 2011 Hands Lifted 1 Timothy 2:8

January 8, 2011 Silently 1 Samuel 1:13

January 9, 2011 Aloud Acts 16:25

January 10, 2011 At All Times Luke 18:1

The more we learn about prayer, the more we will think about prayer, the more we will think about our Savior and talk with Him and the better we will know Him and love Him. I want to begin the year pointed at Him in prayer!

We will be recording this in our prayer journals so we can discuss what we are learning. Here is the format (just to give my daughter something to follow):

Date
Scripture written out
Two things I prayed about
My thoughts (3+ sentences)

Puppies and Toddlers

2010-12-29T21:25:00.006-05:00

Maybe you've never noticed how much puppies and toddlers have in common? I think of it often as I parent my 4th toddler. Let's look at some of the similarities...

1. Both respond to simple, clear commands along with tone and facial expression.

When an owner speaks to his pet his language is simple and straightforward. He doesn't speak in long, monotonous speeches because he knows the limitations of the one he speaks to. He is short and to the point - "sit", "come", "lay down". The owner doesn't spend time explaining why or apologizing for asking because he views himself as "in charge" and expects obedience from his pet. The pet is able to "read" the owners mood by his tone and facial expression. He knows if it is play time or time to relax. The same is true of toddlers. They respond best to simple language like "no touch", "come to Mommy", "sit down", "kiss", and they are able to read our mood too. The Bible says

James 5:12 But above all, my brothers, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or by any other oath, but let your "yes" be yes and your "no" be no, so that you may not fall under condemnation.

This is an important principle and one I am reminded of almost daily as I parent. We must say what we mean and mean what we say. Remember the KISS idea? Keep It Simple Stupid. What a great parenting mantra! There's really no need to do a full explanation of why I said "no" when you touched the ornaments on the Christmas tree, your just not allowed to touch them-period-cause I'm the Mom. :) I observe a lot of parents doing a lot of "discussing/explaining/lecturing" with toddlers and find it amusing when a simple "no" will work so much better.

2. Both require clear, consistent boundaries.

When you bring home a new puppy many of the training books will warn you not to let the puppy chew on household items like old socks. The reason is because they do not know the difference between "old socks" and your brand new socks! Then your mad because Fido has eaten every sock in the house! We have found the same principle to be true when training toddlers. All remote controls are off limits, all cell phones are "no-no", no papers, newspapers or books are allowed to be torn or crumpled because we know that little sweet-pea doesn't know the difference between a magazine we've already read and don't care about and the one that is important for Daddy's work. We know that although we may not mind if Jr. tears up our remote, that we may come over to your house and you won't ever invite us back when he tears up yours! The great thing about toddlers and puppies is that these things can be taught in just a few days with clear, consistent boundaries!

3. Both respond to positive feedback.

Puppies and toddlers both really enjoy pleasing their Mom and Dad! Again, they read our tone and facial expression and they know when we are happy and excited. We are teaching Evan to blow kisses right now and every time he does we all erupt in clapping, cheers and laughter! He knows that this is for him, that he did the right thing and he joins in the celebration. It won't take too many training sessions like that to teach him to blow kisses!

4. Both are smart and capable.

Our friends have laughed at us for a long time because each of our children have been trained to stay on the large area rug we have in our family room. From the time they become mobile we have said "stay on the rug" and picked them up and put them back on the rug until they learned that this was their play area. This is great for safety. I know what is within their reach while they are on the rug. There are no small pieces or parts, and they can't fall up or down stairs as long as they remain on the rug. We don't have to search the house to find them if we walk in to answer the phone. I know where they are and that they are safe. When my son began to walk recently many people have commented "I bet your chasing him all over!", I just smile and say "no, it's not that bad." Another benefit to this training is when we are away from home. My in-laws also have an area rug in their family room and our son stays right there in the room with us without wandering off into other parts of the house (into the dogs dishes...etc.). Many people are shocked when they discover this "skill" in our 15 month old which makes me laugh--do we really believe that we can train our dogs and not our children?? Our children are much smarter and more capable than our pets!!

5. Both desire security and leadership.

Toddlers and puppies are happier and more secure when they have discipline, boundaries, and strong leadership. They want to know that we know what we are doing and are confident in our decisions. When we are sure, they feel sure. When we wishy-wash around with a hundred words in an un-clear tone they don't know what to do. When we yell about something today and ignore it tomorrow they are confused and insecure. When we live by a flexible schedule and the rules stay the same, when our moods are predictable and stable, they are relaxed and happy. I had a boss once who said the number one quality he looked for in an employee was stability. He didn't want to deal with any Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde types where your not sure who your going to get today. Predictability was key to him. I think he had a good point.

I Understand Deception

2010-11-14T14:04:00.003-05:00

I know a young woman with small children in the midst of a divorce right now. She is leaving her faithful, hard-working, honest, good-looking, kind, wonderful father, husband for another man after having a long-term affair with him. Her children are hurt and confused, her husband is destroyed, her parents are devastated, his parents are crushed, and their friends are shocked. This is a woman raised in a Christian home with happily married parents. She met her new boyfriend in the church choir.

Deceive = to cause to accept as true or valid what is false or invalid, to give a false impression.

When I heard about the situation my first thought was "so this is deception". How else can you explain a woman who is happy in her marriage one day and out "dating" another man the next? This is deception as plain as the serpent in the garden. In the same way the enemy caused Eve to believe she would be "happier" and MORE fulfilled if she ate the ONE fruit she couldn't eat, he caused this young woman to believe that somehow the grass would be greener in this other mans' arms. Eve never considered the consequences of her actions in her own life, or those generations to follow and I'm sure this woman hasn't either. That is one of the enemies specialties...to focus all our attention on the object of desire and leave no time or thought to it's ramifications. Let us never forget that the devils' intention is to STEAL, KILL, and DESTROY. What is more destructive in this world than divorce?

Deceive = to lead astray, imposing a false idea or belief that causes ignorance, bewilderment, or helplessness

Watching this situation progress to divorce has been painful for all involved. Many friends and family have tried to talk with this woman and reveal the consequences of her actions but to no avail. Too many times these situations remain hidden until the deception is so thick that it is nearly impossible to recover the victim. Too many times we, as onlookers, make excuses, rationalize the situation, or ignore it saying "that's none of my business" (which is another deception!). This is as dangerous as a burning building and we must be willing to rescue!

Deceive = to obscure the truth

If you are a follower of Christ and you know the TRUTH, don't keep it to yourself! I think we need to learn the art of "speaking the truth in love" (Ephesians 4:15). The Bible says the TRUTH will set us free. Sometimes that TRUTH is a good, happy message, like the gospel. But other times that TRUTH is hard, painful, and awkward to deliver, and yet it is still the key to freedom.

I have a friend who started a new job and has found herself in the middle of a potential adulteress situation between her boss and a new-hire (both married). There is quite a bit of flirting going on and it is uncomfortable for all the employees. I advised my friend to talk with the female from a point of view of concern. We have all been "blinded" in a situation in our lives where those on the "outside" could see things much more clearly than we could. Right now is the time to "nip this thing in the bud" but who can do that? My friend says "I don't have that kind of relationship with her!" Yes but the only people who DO have that kind of relationship with her will not know about this situation until it is much too late!! God placed YOU there at this time to speak the truth to her in love. She may not respond well to it. She may continue in the relationship. At least the truth has been spoken to her, an attempt to snap her out of the deceptive "trance".

Matthew 24:4

Jesus answered: “Watch out that no one deceives you."

This story and others like it should serve as a warning to all of us that deception is real, effective, and we all are at risk. What kind of safeguards do you have in place to guard against this in your marriage? What boundaries will you implement today? Do you have an accountability partner who can ask you about these? Remember, the first deception is when we think "that would never happen to me".

James 1:22
Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.

One of the ways we guard against deception is by filling up on TRUTH daily in God's Word. Knowing the TRUTH is the greatest defense against the devils' schemes. Not just "knowing" Bible facts as though we want to win a prize on a quiz show, but KNOWING the ONE who is the Way and the TRUTH and the LIFE and doing what He says in obedience and out of love for Him.

Miserable in Paradise

2010-10-24T21:01:00.004-04:00

I sat with a friend who is in horrible pain recently. She and her husband have been trying to conceive for a year now and have suffered the loss of miscarriage as well. She loves the Lord and is seeking to follow Him. She is happily married, lives in a beautiful home, and they have a healthy, happy daughter and wish to grow their family. Basically all is well in her life except this situation. It all seems so simple. Why wouldn't God want to give them another child? In her eyes, and in mine, it seems perfectly logical and even beneficial to all involved. Yet God is not following her plan or mine. In the mean time, my friend is miserable. Everywhere she turns she finds pregnant women. Worse yet, pregnant women who complain about being pregnant! Day after day there are continuous reminders that she is not pregnant and month after month the days drag on until there is a new opportunity. It is all-consuming and heart-breaking.

After my meeting with her I began to reflect in prayer on her situation with the Lord and He reminded me of a similar situation from Scripture. The first book of the Bible tells us about another young woman who "had it all" and yet there was one thing she couldn't get her mind off of.

Genesis 2:16-17 ¹⁶ And the LORD God commanded the man, "You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; ¹⁷but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die."

Adam and Eve were living in paradise and had freedom to eat from any tree in the garden except one. What did Satan do? He caused Eve to focus on the one thing she didn't have and it ended in her destruction!

How can you be miserable when you live in paradise?

Listen to the voice of the deceiver, the father of lies, the accuser, that's how!

How much of your thought time is spent on "the one tree you can't eat from"? How does it impact your mood, your effectiveness, your perspective?

The enemy wants our focus to be on ourselves and our plan because he knows that we are weak and fallen and will always come up short resulting in disappointment, depression, even hopelessness. Here is a "thought recipe for disaster"...

Thoughts focused on what I want, need and desire rather than on what God wants, what He thinks and what He desires. Do we really believe our way is better?
Thoughts that compare me to someone else. Either I come out ahead and puff up with pride, or I come out inferior and feel like a loser. No good can come from comparisons.
Obsessive thoughts that include mental ultimatums like "when _____ happens, then I can be happy/content/useful...etc."

The enemy wants you and I to believe that our happiness is dependent on a circumstance, an event, or an outcome. If you are a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ you have reason to be JOY-FILLED every day! God's plan is for you and I to choose to focus on HIM today, what He has done, what He is doing, and who He is. When we purposefully shift our focus off ourselves and onto God and others we will have a different outlook and outcome! How can we do that? I always say "what does that look like in real life?" Here are some practical examples of things to do to get your mind off YOU...

Get your prayer list from Sunday school and pray for those needs.
Call to check on a friend and pray with them over the phone.
Bake cookies and take them to someone.
Do something special for your spouse. What would thrill him? Clean out the closet, wash the car, pay the bills?
Praise God for who He is. Go through the ABC's thinking of an attribute of God for each one (awesome, bold, complete...etc.)
Make a blessing list of all the things you are thankful for.
Use your gifts to serve someone. Are you gifted in organization? Call your friend who isn't and offer to come by and work for an hour. Are you a great cook? Invite some newlywed gals over for a cooking class!

All of these suggestions are replacements. The Bible talks about "taking off" certain behaviors and "putting on" others. So when you find yourself thinking about that one area of your life that is less than "ideal" you replace that line of thinking with one of these ideas. When you are tempted to call a friend to complain that your situation hasn't improved, instead pray with them about a concern of theirs. It is never enough to vow to STOP something, we must always be ready to START a new way of doing things to replace the old.

I love my "Comforts of the Cross" devotional by Elyse Fitzpatrick. In it she challenges me to focus more on God's love for me rather than my love for Him, more on His obedience than mine, more on His faithfulness than mine, more on His strengths than mine. "I must focus on how I've been loved, irrevocably, eternally, freely, without merit, and rest in the awareness of my perfect acceptance before Him."

As long as we are looking at ourselves we will remain disappointed. We are imperfect and the proof is obvious and plentiful. But thoughts of Jesus will never leave us disappointed, only grateful and amazed. It's up to you.

We've Never Prayed For Our Breakfast

2010-09-12T14:51:00.006-04:00

^{Phillipians 4:19}

And my God will meet all your needs

according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.

I read a book to the kids recently called "Granny Han's Breakfast". It was the story of a missionary lady in Taiwan who literally had no food in her cupboards for breakfast one morning. The young girl who helped her around the house asked her what she was going to do. Granny Han said she would pray and ask God to meet her need. This girl was not a believer and thought she was foolish for considering this a reasonable plan of action. Over the next hour she saw God meet Granny Han's need as friends and neighbors stopped by "out of the blue" with fruit, coffee, and other treats. Granny Han rejoiced as her young friend watched in disbelief.

Have you ever prayed for your breakfast? Lunch? Dinner? Neither have I. The girls and I discussed how Granny's faith must have been enriched by this experience. How she must have felt so loved and cared for by her Father God. How seeing this must have impacted her house guest. It's almost sad that we haven't had such an experience.

What kinds of needs do we have and how do we meet them? This morning my skin felt dry, I went to the bathroom cabinet and got my lotion and took care of it. If I hadn't had any lotion in the cabinet I would have hopped in the van and driven to CVS and bought some. When I am hungry I get in my pantry, or stop by the grocery, or even go to a restaurant...I don't even have to go in!! I can drive-thru a window and pick something up! If I am in pain, I call the Doctor and he will write me a prescription. If someone is looking for love, they can get on an internet dating sight or go to a club. If we need spiritual advice, we can call a pastor, or attend one of a thousand churches on every corner of this city! We barely look to God even in spiritual matters any more!! We, as a society, have done (and continue to do) our best to meet every single need we have on our own. We have squeezed God out of our lives. Only in desperate circumstances (those we don't think we can control on our own) do we call on Him anymore. Jesus said He would never leave us and never forsake us--but have we left and forsaken Him?

What do we miss in living this way? The opportunity to see His love and personal care for us. The chance for our faith to be built and strengthened. The occasion to bring glory to His Name and His Kingdom. The truth is that most of us spend an awful lot of time daydreaming (or complaining) about how our lives should/could be easier when the reality is that they are already TOO EASY and that is a big chunk of our problem!

God brought this to my attention back in July when our family went on vacation. We stayed in a wonderful place on the beach with a pool and room service and had a great time. Guess what? I hardly opened my Bible and spent almost zippo time in prayer. Why? Good question since the excuse I would use at home would be "time" or lack of. I had nothing but time on vacation; and even some time alone when I would go upstairs for Evan to take his nap. But all was well. Everything was running smooth. Everyone was healthy and happy and all our needs were met. This was an eye-opening experience for me.

I love the song "In Christ Alone" that says:

In Christ alone I place my trust
and find my glory in the power of the cross
in every victory let it be said of me
my source of strength, my source of hope
is Christ alone.

Let us also never forget that our greatest need in this life is to be rescued from the judgment we deserve for our rebellion against the One, True, Living God. And that need can only be met by one, our Savior Jesus Christ. So no matter how self-sufficient we may feel, it is only an illusion when we get to the core of what really matters which is "where will you spend eternity?".

My Workplace

2010-09-04T11:14:00.003-04:00

So I'm reading Charlotte's Web to the girls as part of Paige's first grade curriculum, and it is really good! I had forgotten, since I was probably her age the last time I read it and I haven't seen the updated movie.

In Chapter 9 Charlotte (the wise spider) is explaining to Wilbur (the young, naive pig) why he can't spin a web like she does. She tells him this is a talent unique to spiders and that even men cannot build a web, though they will try. Charlotte tells him about a bridge that men have built that is similar to a spiders web.

Wilbur: "What do people catch in the Queensborough Bridge--bugs?"
Charlotte: "No, they don't catch anything. They just keep trotting back and forth across the bridge thinking there is something better on the other side. If they'd hang head-down at the top of the thing and wait quietly, maybe something good would come along. But no--with men it's rush, rush, rush, every minute. I'm glad I'm a sedentary spider."
Wilbur: "What does sedentary mean?"
Charlotte: "Means I sit still a good part of the time and don't go wandering all over creation. I know a good thing when I see it, and my web is a good thing. I stay put and wait for what comes. Gives me a chance to think."

I know my girls think I am nuts when, in the middle of the story, I have to run to find a highlighter, a bookmark, a post-it--something to mark this AWESOME epiphany moment!! But this conversation between Charlotte and Wilbur fit so beautifully with the previous blog about "My Job"!

These statements are so simple and yet so accurate in todays society.

We DO trot back and forth always thinking there is something better that we are missing out on!
We rarely "hang" and wait quietly to see what the Lord would say or bring our way.
We are rushing constantly which causes us to be short-tempered and stressed out!
We DO wander all over creation seeking fulfillment, praise, significance.
We DON'T know a good thing when we see it!

Charlotte's web is her home and she sees it as a "good thing" and she "stays put". My home is my workplace and God has called me to make it a haven for my family. A place where we can relax, learn, have fun, eat together, and show hospitality to others. I need not go elsewhere to find meaning, there is meaning at home where I love my family, teach, train, correct, cook, clean, raise my children to know Jesus, love my husband, and visit with friends.

I think I'm going to adopts Charlotte's philosophy on life--"never hurry and never worry!" If you are not "catching anything" then maybe you should take some time to be sedentary like Psalm 46:10.

My sweet Evan boy!

2010-09-02T16:28:00.000-04:00

My Job

2010-09-01T22:33:00.002-04:00

I know a lady who works at Macy's. She hates it when customers take a load of clothes into the dressing room and then leave all of them in there in a heap when they leave the store. She then has to spend a large portion of her day in the dressing room hanging and re-stocking the clothes. My thought is "that's your job!". I mean, isn't that what they pay you for? I understand people are inconsiderate and should be more responsible for cleaning up after themselves, but...this is why they pay her, to hang up and put away the clothes! So when she goes to work-who cares what she does-just stay busy, work hard at whatever needs to be done, and collect your paycheck without complaint.

This is what God brought to my mind this morning as I was complaining in prayer to Him about all the interruptions and corrections I have been dealing with from the kids. We homeschool and as I am trying to teach one child, the other comes over and needs help with something else or needs to be corrected for disobedience...etc. It can be very frustrating to manage the needs and misbehaviors of all 4. I find myself agitated at the "inconvenience" of stopping one lesson/conversation to deal with another. So as I talked to the Lord about my irritation and asked for His help, he brought this lady to mind and made the obvious correlation..."Cristie--that is your JOB!" "You are the Mom and it is your job to help them, to teach them, to correct them and to train them-all day, every day!"

Why am I so surprised that they have to be told something over and over again when I continue to make many of the same mistakes over and over again in spite of the correction God has given me? Why am I acting like I have "other things to do" when being a Mom is my JOB, my #1 priority, my PRIVILEGE! Sometimes I need a change in perspective to get back on track. Just the reminder that this is MY JOB will change the way I view the daily "irritations". I can choose to see them as "training opportunities" instead and be thankful that I am around to witness them and equipped by God to deal with them. After all, what could be more important?

Job 12:13

To God belong wisdom and power; counsel and understanding are his.

The things that stick.

2010-06-08T22:44:00.006-04:00

When we sat down to dinner tonight Rusty began to tell about a famous coach, John Wooden, who died on Friday at the age of 99. He told the girls "I hope you have a marriage like the one I heard about today". John Wooden was married to his sweetheart Nell for 53 years. She was the only girl he ever kissed. She died 24 years ago on the 21st of March. Since then, every month on the 21st he has written her a love letter. Rusty told the girls that Wooden said he never considered marrying again because he could never love anyone the way he loved Nell.http://espn.go.com/video/clip?id=5249532

We talked about faithfulness--what does it mean to be faithful? Why does God want us to be faithful? We explained how the Lord Jesus is faithful, that once we ask Him to be our Lord and Savior that He remains faithful to us to the end. He doesn't change His mind. He doesn't fall in and out of love with us like the old game "He loves me, He loves me not" based on our behavior or performance. He makes a commitment to us, adopts us into His family, and remains committed for all eternity. God wants us to be faithful because He is faithful and He wants us to be like Him.

With tears in his eyes my husband shared with the girls Wooden's final wish was that someone would shave him so he would look nice when he saw Nell. I truly believe this is one of those family moments that will stick in my daughters minds for all time. I believe as they consider a spouse they will recall the conversation their dad had with them on June 8, 2010 and attempt to discern if this man is one who will be faithful to the end.

"Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are," John Wooden

"Clean your room!" and other misunderstood instructions

2010-06-08T22:08:00.005-04:00

Recently a mother was visiting our house when I asked my 3 daughters to go upstairs and fold a load of laundry. After they left the room she commented "I wish my kids would help out around the house!" She went on to say that when she told her son to "clean his room" she would find him 20 minutes later in his room playing. The best outcome she could expect was for him to pick up the floor and stuff all the items under the bed, in the closet, or in drawers with no order whatsoever.

Here's what I have learned about this dilemma:

1. Kids do not understand broad concepts like "clean your room" (especially kids under 7). They do understand specific instructions like "put the Barbies in the blue bin". Another broad instruction mothers love to give their kids is "be good". Really? What does that look like? We must be more specific with our expectations when we have small children. Speak real directions that are meaningful in their kid-mind.

2. Flowing from #1...do their things have a "home" where they belong? If you tell your child to "put away the Barbies" do they know where the Barbies are supposed to go? If not, you are making "clean up" very difficult for your child. When their toys have "homes" they are much more likely to be willing and able to put them away. This doesn't have to be some HGTV play room makeover where each bin is labeled and embroidered, it just has to be a system known to the child and taught (and followed) by Mom and Dad.

3. Which brings us to #3...work as a team, especially in the beginning. Everyone likes to be part of a team, to laugh and have fun makes the work go by faster! Rather than sending each family member to a separate room to clean/straighten up, why not move as a team from room to room? This also gives each member an opportunity to "serve" the others! Turn on some music and have fun! Working together gives Mom and Dad the chance to show how the work should be done, to offer tips and guidance, and just build relationship too! Too many times we just bark out orders when it would be much more effective and efficient to say "let's go clean up your room" or "let's get this kitchen cleaned up together--why don't we set the timer for 15 minutes and see if we can beat the clock!!" I believe that kids want to spend time with their parents, especially one on one, so take advantage of that and be productive too!

Taking a break from radio

2010-06-08T22:03:00.002-04:00

This Sunday, June 13, will be the final episode of the Contagious radio program on WJMM fm. After much consideration I have decided to stop recording for this "season" of life. I know I have to have an outlet, a way to express myself, so I will be writing more on the blog, as time allows, to share what God is teaching me. The three and a half years of radio programs will continue to be available for download on the website www.contagiousonline.com

2010-06-01T15:44:00.001-04:00

Carley's Kiss

May 2010

2010-04-07T15:00:00.003-04:00

Airplane photos! We flew on Emirates Airlines and were very happy with them. We flew Cincinnati to JFK in New York then on to Dubai where we stayed overnight in a hotel (which would have been nice if I could have slept!!). My schedule went off kilter starting on Wednesday night before we left on Thursday. I guess I was a little anxious about traveling around the world and meeting my new son for the first time--imagine that! Mostly I was apprehensive about the thought of a 14 hour flight! What does one do for 14 hours in the air?? The Emirates planes have tv's on the back of each seat so you can watch tv, movies, or play video games which is a great feature! Unfortunately I got sick on the big flight, I think it was just motion sickness but sick nonetheless. Don't feel bad for me, feel bad for the elderly Indian woman who sat on the aisle (she spoke no English) and I climbed over her every 30 minutes throughout the majority of the flight! I made friends with all the flight attendants and had the privilege of sitting in the jump seat for large chunks of time as I waited for the restroom to open up. Other than the nausea and vomiting, it was a smooth trip. :)

Packing for a trip around the world--

2010-04-07T14:43:00.003-04:00

Rus and I ready to leave on Thursday, March 18, 2010

We flew out of Cincinnati, OH at 4pm

Our bathroom was the packing depot!

This packing started about a month and a half before we actually left!

Momma must have her snacks!! :)

I wanted to be sure I had some sweets and comfort food just in case

I wasn't as adventurous in the dining room as I was hoping for!

(I wasn't) Let's just say the Fruit Loops were gone!

The girls were a big help in packing...especially when it came to Evan's clothes!

We had to sort sizes and then try to decide which size would work best..?

So I took a full week of 3-6 mos. and a full week of 6-9 mos.

Baby clothes don't take up that much room!!!

Baby stuff!!

The girls on the day of our departure. I guess I was so caught up in packing, preparation and anticipation that I nearly forgot I'd have to leave my girls for a week. I started crying when we got one street away and Rusty was surprised. Wow, this could be tough!

Sorry for the silence...

2010-04-07T14:37:00.002-04:00

So sorry for the silence.

So many of you have been so faithful in prayer for our family throughout this process that I hate to keep you waiting! If your not my Facebook friend you are probably waiting to see Evan's beautiful face??!! So here is his referral photo that we received on January 5, 2010. He was 3 and 1/2 months old here. We got 6 photos with his referral but this is the one that looks most like who we met on March 21, 2010. Funny, because this one was my husband's favorite!

Mini-Cerniglia Update! From #2

2010-03-23T22:05:00.003-04:00

Hello everybody! This is Angie or as Cristie calls me #2! I wanted to give those of you who aren't on facebook a little update on the Cerniglia's (or half of them!)
They arrived safely on Saturday and got to hold their precious son on Sunday!
I got to see them via Skype today and trust me, Evan is absolutely adorable!!!! And very content!! They have molded together already!

Their US Embassy appointment was on Monday and went well, and neither of them have been sick with any stomach bug either!
Cristie was even able to see our little boy (in fact he was the first child they saw when they arrived at Hannah's hope! The director was holding him!)
Other than Jet-lag, I think they are doing great! Cristie has nothing but good things to say!

They are due back Friday and I personally can't wait!!
She will much more to blog about then!!

Packed! We leave the day after tomorrow!

2010-03-17T00:27:00.003-04:00

It is 12:30 am and I just finished writing letters for the girls to read each day while we are gone. I sealed them in individual dated envelopes so each one would be a surprise and something to look forward to (not as fun as Cris P. who did bags with goodies in them :) but I'm doing the best I can!! I tried to give them a few assignments each day so they won't wear Rusty's folks out completely too! Also let them know what our day would look like and told them how they could pray for us.

I got Evan and I 95% packed today. Rusty is on his own :) (I say lovingly). It was hard work, but with Morgan's help, we got it done today! What a weight lifted off my back. Now I can go to BSF in the morning and enjoy the study and "fill up" on God's awesome word before we leave!! I can't wait until we're actually on the road and in the air and I can actually bask in the awesomeness that we are on our way to Evan! With all this preparation I really haven't had time to reflect much on how cool this part is!

Shout out of thanks to my support system today: Angie/#2 who passed court today!!! Praise the Lord, Cris P. who recently traveled and is an awesome resource on travel questions, Susan P. who I am looking forward to meeting face to face on Thursday night late in the JFK airport as we share in this awesome experience together! My in-laws who arrived today, 2 days early, to help out. Our treasured friends the Hunters who came to wish us well tonight, and my dear neighbor Marissa who gave me a paper bag to make my apple pie in and is always available in my food/entertaining emergencies!! I love you all!!! :) Hugs and smiles!

Counting down the days...and adding up the lists!

2010-03-15T22:42:00.003-04:00

It is Monday night. I made another $200 trip to Wal-Mart tonight and I didn't buy any clothes for Evan! It was all just STUFF that everyone says we need for this humongous journey around the world! I am checking so many different packing lists I can't keep one straight from the other. I am determined to have EVERYTHING we maybe, might possibly need, along with a little extra just in case one of the other families in our group didn't bring "it". It can get a little overwhelming! The countdown continues. The girls are down to 12 days until they meet their baby brother! Morgan continues to monitor closely the number of days until Mom and Dad leave, while her sisters focus more on our return! The in-laws will arrive tomorrow which will really make it seem more real that we are leaving at last!!! It is all such a whirlwind! I know we will finally exhale when we get in the truck and drive away toward the airport. Then we will know we have done all we can and we are truly on our way to EVAN. I already couldn't sleep last night, so many thoughts running, racing through my head. I have to sleep with pen and paper by the bed to write the things down as they come. Pen and paper by my makeup mirror, in the kitchen and in the office too! Always a new list and an addition to the old one. Will I remember it all? No, but Angie will---I'll make sure of that!!! :)

Goodnight.

Bracelet, Necklace, Tiara

2010-03-10T21:26:00.003-05:00

This awesome necklace was a gift from my sweet Angelia. I have debated on whether to post it or not because I know everyone will love it and run out to buy one and I wanted to be the only one with this great "Momlace" :) But I suppose none of the rest of you will get one with "Morgan, Paige, Carley, and Evan" on it will you? It even has "Rusty 5-7-94" on the back!

She knew I was having trouble with my "Momacelet", which when I added the 4th strand started breaking constantly so she found this! Rusty nearly smacked me when I asked how we could add another disc to this one! Oh well, I suppose if we have a 5th child I will just buy a personalized tiara. You can reasonably wear a tiara if you have 5 kids right? LOL

Darling Baby Boy Bibs!!

2010-03-10T20:11:00.003-05:00

Check out these baby boy bibs my mom made for Evan!

The Formal Affair

The Clown

The Farmer

and

The Suit and Tie

If you want to order one you can Facebook her at

Mary Anne Lawley Logan

13 more days to hold Evan...

2010-03-08T23:21:00.002-05:00

I am working to max out every day between now and the 18th when we leave. It seems there is so much to do. Every day I mark 4 or 5 items off my to do list, and then add 6 or 7 back on! Each person I talk to alerts me to another "possibility" of something to pack or bring. I really want to be prepared. Tomorrow I get my hair colored and cut, the last thing I want is for Evan to think he's stuck with some dark-rooted, sloppy hair-wearin' Kentucky Momma!! :)

We still don't have news on Angie and Matt's court date today. All they needed was one paper so surely they have been approved-right? Angie has done her homework and she found a friend of ours who passed court and traveled 10 days later, and so we hold out hope that they will be with us when we leave on the 18th!

We found out our new friends in NY will be traveling with us and even be on our flight from JFK to Dubai and then on to Ethiopia so that should be fun! I warned her that I am a "professional" when it comes to talking and she promised I'd met my match! Do you think we can talk non-stop for 14 hours and 45 minutes from NY to Dubai? Piece of cake. :) They will be meeting their 3 month old son!

Rusty's parents are confirmed to arrive on Tuesday to keep the kids while we're gone. What a relief not to have to pack them to go somewhere as well! They will stay for a few days after we return as well so we can rest a little. Thank you Lord for great in-laws!!

I ordered us more shirts off www.cafepress.com tonight. It is an awesome website with every kind of adoption t-shirt you can imagine. I want to wear them on the plane both ways so that we can easily connect with other adoptive families. Though I guess on the way home we'll be pretty obvious! I made the girls and I Africa shirts this week that they will wear to the airport to meet us. So cute. My mom is going to do the stitching around the Africa outline and put hearts where Ethiopia is.

I must say I would have NEVER imagined all this would be happening. As I look back over this adoption journey I can't believe we've made it to this point. What a LONG road it has been. What a roller coaster ride with such highs and lows. I know this is the highest of highs that we are about to experience. A trip to Africa is HUGE all by itself, let alone meeting our new son and bringing him home for the first time!!! It is just SO big! If you had told me that we would adopt a son from around the world 10 years ago I would have thought you were nuts! But now it brings to mind the song "look what the Lord has done, He healed my body, He touched my mind..He saved me just in time oh I'm gonna praise His name, cause each day He's just the same, come on and praise Him..look what the Lord has done!!!!!" That is the only way to explain this. He started it and He will finish it and I am in awe that He has allowed us to be a part of it! What a privilege and a blessing. And all this before we even meet him! I know the blessing is only beginning!

Right now I am praying for God's grace as we travel. God is reminding me of my tendency toward spoiled self-centeredness. You know, as in "what if I don't get a hot shower?" or "what if I don't like the food, Lord, you know how car sick I get when my tummy isn't full!" There are a lot of "what if's" in this travel, that's for sure. I am told that the electricity goes off for hours at a time in the city. In and of myself, this will be a very difficult trip for me, but I am trusting God to fill me with patience, and love, and peace that passes all understanding. He is able, I am not. My desire is to completely enjoy every aspect of this trip in spite of the way it may challenge my "comforts". My comforts need to be challenged! Will you pray with me?

Thank you Evan for changing our lives. You've already started and I know there is more to come. People say you are blessed to join our family, I know we are blessed to have you.

2010-03-07T00:35:00.003-05:00

My dear friend Karen and her family came over last night to share all the details of their recent trip to Ethiopia to bring home sweet baby William (8 months old). I remember when I first met Karen (2 years ago) and she shared that they were starting their paperwork to adopt a child from Ethiopia and I thought "how nice for them" never dreaming that we would soon be in the same situation!! Isn't the Lord hilarious? We have walked this road together and held one another up in prayer. We were blessed to be at the airport when they got home two weeks ago. I told her I would give her a few days to rest but then I needed DETAILS!!! She shared their experience and had even taken notes on things she did not want me to forget to pack! What a blessing to hear their story and to hold William. He has the softest skin EVER! It made me feel closer to Evan just holding this baby who shares a story and a homeland with our son.

Just a thought:

I have never met an adoptive family who doesn't desire to go back and do it again. Interesting.

A fun step stool project

2010-03-07T00:25:00.003-05:00

I bought this unfinished wood step stool at Michaels for next to nothing and had fun painting it and Modge-Podging a verse on it by cutting the letters out of a magazine. The girls had fun cutting out letters too! You can buy Modge-Podge at WalMart or Michaels and paint it on with a sponge brush. I did some plates like this at Christmas time that came out cute too. I cut out letters to spell "Tis the Season" in the center of the plate and then all sorts of words for around the rim like "Fun", "Family", "love", "cooking and sharing", "parties", ...etc.

1 Timothy 4:12 (New International Version)

¹²Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young

Countdown to Evan

2010-03-07T00:08:00.003-05:00

We made this poster to count down the days until the girls will meet their baby brother for the first time. We made it so that they can cut a day off the end each morning and visually see the time get shorter and shorter. We started with 23 days from Thursday-the day our travel was confirmed. I wrote the date under each number and made a note for each day we will be in Ethiopia telling what is happening that day (Sunday the 21- Gotcha Day, Monday the 22nd- Embassy appointment, Tuesday the 23rd- shopping, Wednesday the 24th- Cultural dinner, Thursday the 25th-Travel, Friday the 26th-Forever Family reunion!) Seeing this every time I go up and down the stairs is a real JOY-PRODUCER!

Which is harder...before or after the referral?

2010-03-06T23:51:00.004-05:00

As we waited on the waiting list I did OK until we hit the #3. For some reason that really made it all come alive in me. At last it felt like this was really going to happen and I began to panic. "We're not ready!!" was my cry! And so we prepared in the hopes that any day we would get the referral call and behaved as though we could travel any day. This was October 26, 2009. Well it didn't take long to prepare his room and then I hit my low point. We found out we were #2 on 11/6 and #1 on 11/12. We didn't get our referral until January 5, 2010. These were the hardest weeks for me (just go back and read the posts if you don't believe me!). I worried that the waiting might be harder after we saw his photo but I have to say it hasn't been. Maybe if my 3-2-1-referral countdown had gone faster this time would be more difficult to wait through, but we were so happy to "know" him finally and have things in motion!

The great thing about the time between referral and travel is that you always have motion. Things are happening most all the time and that keeps your mind occupied. Now, here we are waiting for THE day and it feels so good to finally have the END in sight (or the beginning, depending on how you look at it!). Just to know we will see him in 15 days is enough to keep a smile on my face 24/7!! Our friends came over last night with their new 8 month old son from Ethiopia and just to hold him made me feel closer to sweet Evan-boy.

What a blessing to be involved in this whole process as difficult as it has been at times, it has forced me to lean into God and to actually "walk" what I say I believe. And for that, I am thankful.

Mark 9:24

Immediately the boy's father exclaimed, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!"

Confirmed Travel Dates for March 22

2010-03-05T09:50:00.005-05:00

This is me with a confirmed travel date!

I don't know how it can get any better than this! We got the call yesterday, only one day after receiving the call for tentative travel, that our dates are confirmed and we will participate in the March 22nd Embassy date! We had just heard back from the travel agent with an itinerary that matched what we wanted and Julie called to give us the "go ahead"! We sent the itinerary to her and she approved it within minutes and we were back on the phone with the travel agent to book it! We are beyond excited, far above thrilled, and way past delighted at the thought of meeting Evan on the 21st!

The girls and I made a "Countdown to Evan" poster yesterday (I'll post a photo of it soon)! We wrote the numbers on it 1-23 and will cut off a number each day to show how many are left until they get to meet their baby brother! I start to cry just typing that sentence! It seems too good to be true after all this time! How many exclamation marks can I use in one post???

At this point it doesn't look good for Angie and Matt (#2) to travel with us, but we know God can do far above anything we ask or imagine, so we won't give up hope!

Tentative Travel Dates!

2010-03-03T21:30:00.004-05:00

Our Case Worker called today to give us tentative travel dates for an Embassy Appointment in Ethiopia for March 22!! We will leave two weeks from tomorrow! Unbelievable! Our first court date was February 4 and we did not pass. If we had passed we would have hoped to travel on March 8. Turns out, the March 8 Embassy Appointment for our agency was cancelled. So...we are travelling ASAP anyway! Thank you Lord!

We are supposed to have finalized dates (which just means we can go ahead and buy our tickets because it is set in stone) by Monday which is two weeks from the Embassy Appointment. But Julie says the only way we won't travel on the 22nd now is if the Embassy cancels the date which is highly unlikely.

Rusty is talking to travel agents and calling our cell phone provider to find out about international calls and I am shopping like a crazy person! My friend who just returned home from Ethiopia with her 8 month old son told me she changed his clothes SIX times during the 24 hour trip home! That reminded me of a reality of infants that I had forgotten about--the messy, spit-up, poop-out, endless laundry reality of an infant!!! So I'm wondering how many outfits do we need for 7 days away from home with limited (if any) laundry access? Also, we have had two sets of updated measurements for Evan lately and evidently he is shrinking! :) So it's hard to rely too much on the information we are getting from the transition home as far as what size to buy. So last week I bought 6-9 month and this week I bought 3-6 month! The plan is to keep tags on and return whatever we didn't need or didn't work. So tricky to pack! I have a pile in my closet that I add to daily of things we may need (mainly food-ha ha). I am determined not to waste away on this trip! :)

It's hard to believe that we will have a new baby in this house by the end of the month! What an awesome birthday present for Mommy! Thank you Lord for bringing him home for my birthday. You know the desires of my heart!

Psalm 20:4

May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed.

A Shower for #2!

2010-02-28T21:44:00.001-05:00

Angie's nieces were there

wearing their cute Africa t-shirts she made them!

On February 28 we had a shower for Angie (#2) and for Micah! It was lots of fun and she got loads of cutie boy stuff! What fun to celebrate with her! She is God's special gift to me. Who would have thought that I would find another mom adopting a son at the same time (back to back on the waiting list), with the same agency (in Oregon no less), who lives less than a mile from my house? Only a sovereign, all-knowing God can do that! I am always encouraged by her as she turns to the Word in every situation we've encountered along this long road.

She is bright and beautiful,

sweet and cheerful, compassionate and transparent.

I love my BFF Angie!

2 Thessalonians 1:3
We ought always to thank God for you,

brothers, and rightly so,

because your faith is growing more and more,

and the love every one of you has for each other

is increasing.

Welcome Home William!

2010-02-22T20:18:00.002-05:00

We had the privilege to welcome home our friends as they brought home their 8 month old son William from Ethiopia on Monday, 2/22/10! Their flight was scheduled to come in at 5:15pm but was delayed a few times and they finally arrived at 9pm. Rusty kept asking me "do you think we should just go home, it's late, put the kids to bed?"...etc. But I was bound and determined we were going to be there! What an opportunity for the girls to see exactly what it will be like when it is Mom and Dad and Evan getting off that plane! Besides, the crowd was thinning with each delay, in my opinion, which increased my chances of actually getting to HOLD this precious one!!! :) Ulterior motives for sure!

The girls made this darling poster which we taped to dowel rods (is that the right word?) so they could hold it like a banner and afterwards we rolled it up and stuck it in their bag when they weren't looking so they could see it later and keep it for him (if they choose).

Yes, Paige is wearing a sticker on her forehead (smile). She is my comedian. She likes this "look" for some reason??? With my first I never would have allowed it, especially in public, but now I just say "sure" and get a little chuckle when people look at her funny. I think it is nice of me to offer the public some comedy relief, and character building for her to be made fun of. :)

OK, anyway, the homecoming was glorious! William was smiling and cooing at his fans. He had all the energy since he was able to sleep 14 out of 18 hours, unlike Mom and Dad who were "exhausted beyond all physical endurance" as Karen put it. Praise the Lord for His wonderful work in bringing this family together again!

Psalm 139:14b

Your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

We passed court!!

2010-02-21T21:44:00.004-05:00

February 18, 2010

Evan is officially our son! We have court approval!

We had our second chance at court on Wednesday the 17th. We waited and waited to hear from AGCI and finally at about 2pm we got an email from our CW saying she didn't have any info. We didn't know what to think. Finally at 2pm on Thursday she called and I swear it was my referral call repeated!! I saw the # on caller i.d. and almost didn't want to answer it for fear it would be bad news. But it wasn't...we passed! Evan is OURS after all this time! I completely fell apart in total relief. Thankfully she understood where I was and just said "go celebrate and call me later when your ready to write down info". :)

We are super excited and hope to travel either 3/22 or 4/5. There is light at the end of this long, long tunnel.

Thanks so much for your support and prayers! God is very good.

AABC Shower

2010-02-20T21:08:00.001-05:00

We have a really awesome church family. We have been at Ashland Avenue Baptist Church for 2 years now and it has been a huge blessing in our lives. We know that one of the reasons God led us to this place to worship is because of the Biblical teaching regarding adoption. Now it is all coming to fruition as we prepare to welcome home our new son!

My faithful assistant Morgan always at my side.

This onesie is from www.adoptionbug.com and says

"Special Delivery from Ethiopia--Handle with Care"

Thanks to the "J Team" (Jonda, Janet, Jennifer, and Jessica)

for the delicious cake and punch that perfectly matched the darling invitations!

The whole party was perfect. What a blessing to have so much love and support...

and baby boy clothes!!!

My treasured buddy, my SIC, Jonda

I know how hard you worked to make this day special and I appreciate every bit of it!

She and Kevin are now in the process of their own Ethiopian adoption!!!

Go God!

Even More Shower pics...

2010-02-14T20:55:00.000-05:00

Check out this beautiful food!

Danielle is so talented. She painted the canvas above the fireplace, AND did custom iron-ons for the onesies, AND covered the wooden "E" for Evan's bedroom!

AND made these darling and delicious cupcakes! They had chocolate pudding and chocolate chips in them--super moist!

My niece Austin was there to celebrate. Ew, I feel old...she was the flower girl in our wedding and now she's in college (and I am STILL having babies?!)!

Sweet baby Jordan. My friend Stefany's son (home from ET last March). He has been my "substitute" Evan since we first met this past summer. :) And his mom has been a rock of support and encouragement. There is nothing like a friend who has been there.

More Shower pics...

2010-02-13T20:35:00.001-05:00

Here's Angie #2, my dear friend and shower hostess Angelia, and my friend Myra

Interesting factoid: Myra and I graduated high school together and then lost touch. When we reconnected on Facebook we realized we both had 3 daughters and were adopting sons!! Her 2 year old son Sam came home from China in October!

One of our favorite gifts was this step stool for Evan's room. A friend had this built and custom painted to match his room. It is gorgeous!

My buddy, and other shower hostess, Susan painted this plaque and picture frame for Evan's bedroom door. It also matches his room perfectly!

Morgan is becoming quite the cook. She made and iced these sugar cookies for the shower all by herself! Even at risk of bodily harm from Angelia who explicitly told us not to bring ANYTHING! Morgan's response.."I'll handle Miss Angelia!" Brave girl. :)

My precious friend Eveline who is from India and this was her first ever baby shower! When she told me she had never been to a shower before I was tempted to tell her "it is customary in the US to wear your bathing suit to showers" but I resisted. :) Eveline has a love for the Lord that is unmatched. She is the wise one who told me "God is the master planner. I have plans but I put them UNDER His plans because His are best." Those words in her sweet accent have echoed in my mind throughout this difficult process. There really is something about her accent that makes her words sound infinitely more wise!

Feb 6 Baby Shower

2010-02-12T21:02:00.000-05:00

On Saturday, February 6, three of my girlfriends got together and hosted a baby shower for Evan. It was a really nice party with beautiful invitations, delicious food, fun, adoption-related games, so many wonderful gifts, and, most of all, an awesome assortment of treasured friends!

Thank you Danielle for hosting the party at your house. Thanks to Angelia for designing, addressing and mailing all the invites! Thanks to Susan for her original, personalized games. And thanks to all three for the delicious food and thoughtfulness.

The funniest moment of the day was when I opened a package that included little boy underwear from Gymboree and exclaimed "are these panties??" and every mother-of-a-boy in the room shouted "NO--THEY ARE NOT PANTIES, THEY ARE UNDERWEAR!!" :) Yet, another vocabulary change for this mom of girls!

Coincidence? I don't think so!

2010-02-10T19:45:00.000-05:00

This is our new friend Meredith and her son Liam.

Meredith was looking for someone to watch Liam as she prepared to return to work after maternity leave. She heard about my mom from the sister of our old neighbors. My mom keeps babies at her house. Meredith called and set up a time to meet my mother and it happened to be the day after we received our referral of Evan. Mom had his photo on the coffee table when Meredith arrived and it sparked an exciting conversation! Turns out Meredith has been to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia last summer for two weeks and has a love for the country and the people. She was so excited about our adoption and wanted to share her photographs and stories from her trip with us.

We set a date and were able to see so many beautiful photographs and hear all about her adventure! It was a real blessing to Rusty and I. Who would have thought that we would "coincidentally" run into another Ethiopian contact right here in KY?

As you might imagine, this connection "sealed the deal" and mom now keeps little Liam full time (a blessing for her) and we get to see them regularly! Praise the Lord! He is sovereign.

Acts 17:26

From one man he made every nation of men,

that they should inhabit the whole earth;

and he determined the times set for them

and the exact places where they should live.

Are we ready? Not usually.

2010-02-06T22:32:00.002-05:00

So this is Evan's crib. Everyone who comes over laughs because we have his photo in there under the mobile, but this is the best we can do for now! We tease about how he is quiet as a mouse and ALWAYS sleeps through the night!! Such a good baby! My friend asked me if I was ready to get up in the middle of the night again, I said "sure, for 2 or 3 nights until he gets used to our schedule!" ha ha. Hopefully he will get into a good rhythm quickly but I have no idea what to expect? I'm sure I am unprepared, just like I was with the other three! One day at a time--right?

As you might imagine, we are talking to a lot of people about adoption these days and many of the families express an interest in adoption for their family. Two of the main concerns that come up are cost and difficulty (paperwork, waiting...etc.). I remember what Russell Moore said at the talk he gave at our church "just DO IT! It's not as expensive or as difficult as you think it is!" and I agree. The paperwork is cumbersome, just like taxes. You have to find documents that you don't know where they are or how to get them. You figure it out. You have to fill out long forms and sometimes you don't know the answers. You do it anyway. You have to pay fees for lawyers and others working on your behalf. You put the money together just like you do for other things you want and are important to you. Remember the Doritos commercial slogan "we'll make more!"? You do all of this in order to

RESCUE A CHILD WHO HAS NO MOTHER AND NO FATHER AND NOT ENOUGH TO EAT AND MAY NEVER HEAR THE NAME OF JESUS UNLESS YOU RESPOND.

How's that for simplifying the matter? Really. I don't say that as a guilt trip, because not everyone is called to adopt, but if you are feeling that urge, that prompting, than that is probably why you feel guilty as you read this! :) All I'm saying is that if you believe God is leading you to adopt don't let money or difficulty slow you down. It is quite do-able, many others have done it, and God has never been anxious over finances!

Ephesians 3:20-21
²⁰Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, ²¹to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

New info on why our court date failed.

2010-02-05T14:47:00.003-05:00

The AGCI case worker just called to let us know she had more info on yesterdays failed court date. She said our birth mother was present but she answered one of the judges questions differently than she had originally answered it on her paperwork at the time of relinquishment. He asked how many aunts and uncles she had and she said five or six and her paperwork said two. Wow, we had no idea they were so particular. I wonder if she even understood? I feel bad for her, now she has to make a second trip to Addis (8 hours).

What I learned about parenting from "flunking" Ethiopian Court...

2010-02-04T21:25:00.003-05:00

Today was our court day in Ethiopia where we hoped a judge would legally make Evan our son. We have prayed and prayed and had such phenomenal prayer support from friends and family I thought surely God would grant our request! Remember the persistent widow?? :) But today wasn't our day and it didn't happen as we had hoped. Our case worker is in Africa right now so one of the other CW's called today at 4:15pm to let us know that we didn't "pass". She said "the birth mother didn't respond correctly" and that she didn't know exactly what that meant but would try to find out more and get back to us. The bottom line is that the judge rescheduled our court date to Wednesday, February 17. This was good news since I have heard of families waiting another month for a new date. The agency had prepared us that only 1/2 of the families pass court on the first date due to circumstances outside of the family or agency control. So we knew this was a fair possibility. My prayer from the time we knew the date was that God would help me to TRUST HIM in the outcome. This morning in the shower I wondered if I should tell myself that we wouldn't pass and "prepare myself" for that and then if we did it would be especially sweet. I think of myself as an optimist, so I find it difficult to do that. Besides, I really didn't want to play mind games with myself, I just wanted to believe that His way is best and TRUST HIM!

We just studied John 13 this week and one of our principals was that Jesus knows all things and loves unconditionally. We saw this as He washed the disciples feet, even Judas, who He knew was going to betray Him. He knew what was in his heart, that he was insincere, and yet He loved Judas to the very end. Knowing that Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever (Hebrews 13:8) I can KNOW that He will respond to me in the very same way! His response to me will be based on 2 things:

1. His knowledge of all things.

2. His love for me, my family, and Evan-- unconditionally.

So when she called today and I heard the tone of her voice I thought "this isn't going to be good news" but I pushed that thought out of my head and returned to "neutral". When she said we didn't pass I accepted it as matter of fact and knew this was God's decision, not a judge's, not the agencies, not the birth mothers, but God's, for He is in control of all things. Since I know He loves me unconditionally I can rest that He is working all things together for good in this circumstance. Wow! Even I was surprised at the peace I felt. The CW seemed surprised too, I think she expected me to cry (for once I remained dry!).

So what did I learn about parenting from this?

I learned that God wants me to accept His sovereign decisions without throwing a fit, a tantrum, or questioning Him as if I know better (not that we can't ask questions) and in doing this I show Him the respect, honor and trust He deserves! What He showed me is that He wants Rusty and I to train our children to respond to us this way as well. When we answer our children with "no" or "not right now" they too should respond respectfully and without clamor because they trust that we love them and know what is best. Like everything else, if they can't respond to us that way, how will they ever respond to God that way? But this will take training on our part. Correcting them when they respond incorrectly and TEACHING them, guiding them HOW to respond correctly. After all, isn't everything easier to learn at eight than at thirty-eight???

Besides, Angie and Matt (#2) still don't have their court date, so this could just be part of the master plan for us to travel together! They'll pass the first time, we'll pass the second time and all travel together in March....The End. :)

So right now I praise God for knowing what is best all over this big world while I sit here in my bed clueless in Kentucky.

Adoptive Moms in process--Does this look like you?

2010-02-01T22:02:00.003-05:00

This is my new "position of choice" in the evenings. I wonder how many of you adoptive-moms-in-process can relate? Look at the supplies all in place--a brownie, a soda, tv remote control, my planner, cell phone, and of course, my laptop--lifeline to all that is adoption related! My fingers itch to blog! After dinner the desire begins and intensifies as bath time rolls around, until finally with all the girls tucked in and prayed for, I can relax and live vicariously through another mom who is actually holding her little one!! Or see photos of someones trip to Ethiopia and Hannah's Hope, read about their hotel, the food, what to pack, or just enjoy their story of how our great God brought them to this place of desiring to add to their family from around the world. What an awesome thing to be able to connect like this!

Hebrews 10:24-25

²⁴And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. ²⁵Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

Do you need an adjustment?

2010-02-01T21:50:00.005-05:00

Some days the waiting is hard and it's easy to feel sorry for myself and ask God "why?" I think things like "God, wouldn't Evan be better off at home right now with his family? Why does this take so long? Can't you make it go faster?" So the other day at my Bible Study our leader asked the question "are you in a difficult period of waiting right now?" and my first thought was "YES!! ABSOLUTELY!!" Hear "poor me". Then I heard God's still small voice say to me "really? Is that how you see this? Because I see it as your opportunity to be part of a wonderful work I am doing in this world--maybe you should see it as the PRIVILEGE it is." Wow! It is up to me how I view this. God could have given this opportunity to another family and we would have missed out on the blessing and the privilege to raise Evan, to experience another culture, to see God move, to be His hands and feet...etc. There are so many things to be thankful for and I just need a reminder every now and then that this isn't "torture", this is PRIVILEGE! Do you need a "perspective adjustment" today?

My new favorite quote:

"Sometimes I would like to ask God why He allows poverty, famine and injustice in the world when He could do something about it...but I'm afraid He might ask me the same question." Anonymous

Not too much longer...

2010-02-01T21:25:00.004-05:00

Look at these sweet lips!! How can I wait another day to kiss him? Boy I really struggled at the end of nearly 7 weeks at #1 on the waiting list, but I have to say that his photo has carried me along these last 4 weeks! I wondered if it would be harder after we saw him and knew WHO our little Evan was? But, so far, I would say no. The whole key is to keep things in MOTION! As long as it feels like we are moving forward it seems bearable. It really seems like it is going to be real now!

We have been blessed when it comes to photos. We received 6 photos with his referral. Then about a week later the agency passed on 2 snapshots another family had taken of him while they were picking up their child. About a week later we received 2 more photos from a dear, sweet, compassionate mom who took them during her visit to Hannah's Hope! What a treat! Every pic is a special blessing to us!

We are so pleased that Evan is at Hannah's Hope where we are hearing wonderful reports all the time about how terrific their care is and how much the "special mothers" love these little ones. Each special mother is responsible for 3 babies. My friend laughed when she heard this and remarked "his ratio is better there than it will be at your house!!!" :) LOL I am truly looking forward to "my hands being as full as my heart"!

Our Family Prayer Jar

2010-02-01T20:48:00.006-05:00

Colossians 4:2

²Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.

My friend Jonda told me that her family had a "prayer jar" where they keep all the prayer requests they are aware of and they draw them out daily for prayer time. I loved the idea! So, at Christmas-time when I got "crafty" with the modge-podge for some other homemade gifts I made, I decided to make one for our family out of a leftover Miracle Whip jar! No one can say I'm not GREEN now! :) I used wrapping paper and modge podge to cover the jar, then just cut out magazine letters for the top, and finished it off with some ribbon! Not the most beautiful craft I've done, but one of my favorites when it comes to it's use! We use it at every meal. Carley (our youngest) prays at breakfast, Paige prays for lunch, and Morgan prays at dinner. They each get to draw out a prayer when it is their turn. I guess when Evan comes home we'll have to incorporate an afternoon snack!

Here's what I've found:

The girls get SO excited about drawing--it's like winning the lottery!
In turn, they are SO excited about prayer!
They are learning to think of others needs and pray for these things at other times throughout the day as well.
They are actively listening for peoples prayer requests so they can add them to our jar.
Our family can "see" God working in these situations! As the prayers are answered we are putting them into an ANSWERED PRAYER envelope which I am planning to convert to some kind of foam board for Praise to the Lord!
This opens up lots of good conversations about how God might choose to answer these prayers and we talk a lot about our motto "be a family of ACTION" to say "how might God want to use US to answer this prayer?". Instead of just praying for them, let's think about how we can be part of the answer!
We no longer forget about the important needs of our friends and family.
We are learning to be persistent in prayer

Cut down on your laundry in a "crafty" way...

2010-01-27T22:01:00.004-05:00

My super-crafty friend Danielle gave me this idea for the kids bathroom. She hung hooks for her kids towels and painted them canvas' as well. I decided to try a "water theme" for mine. I found ideas I liked on the internet and tried my best to "copycat" since I don't have any natural art talent. I love the way they turned out though! The black sharpie at the end really helps correct any mistakes! Now the kids have no excuse for not using their bath towels more than once! Every little bit helps--right? :)

Family Motto 2010

2010-01-27T21:35:00.004-05:00

A few years ago Rusty announced that our "Family Motto" was going to be "Reduce Clutter". I thought he was just joking around, but quickly found out he really meant it. We try to move every two years, so it makes sense not to keep a bunch of stuff around the house that we aren't using. So he and I made our rounds around the house a little bit at a time and "reduced clutter". We even got the girls in on the job and Morgan was relentless in her room! She was so proud of her pile of giveaways! It sure made this last move much easier!

Last year our family motto was "Be a Blessing" based on the John Waller song "Blessing for Life". This song talks about every day being a choice to be a blessing or a curse to those we come into contact with. We decided our family was going to choose to be a blessing as much as possible. So when we would drop the kids off in their Sunday School classes instead of saying the traditional parental phrase "be good!", we would whisper "be a blessing!" and they knew just what we were talking about because of "our song". We like anything that builds a team atmosphere in the home.

So, here we are in 2010, and we hadn't even thought of what God might have in store for us this year in the way of mottos...really it isn't ever anything we consciously think about, it just sort of "comes up" as we go along. After a great Sunday morning service as we discussed what we had learned, Rusty says "I want us to be a family of ACTION!" and we both knew--that's our theme for 2010. To be a family of ACTION! This fits perfectly with Evan coming home. We will ACTIVELY GO to Ethiopia and physically rescue him from his loneliness and bring him home forever. We want to DO the gospel rather than just read about it or talk about it! How about you? Are you a talker or a walker?

James 2:14-19
Faith and Deeds
¹⁴What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? ¹⁵Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. ¹⁶If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? ¹⁷In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.
¹⁸But someone will say, "You have faith; I have deeds."
Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by what I do.
¹⁹You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder.

Evan's Care Package

2010-01-26T20:50:00.000-05:00

Our agency asked us to prepare a photo album for Evan and also one for his birth mother along with a letter to her. These will most likely be the only photos she has of him. This letter was the hardest letter I have ever had to write. What do you say to a woman who has given you her only son? The girls signed the letter too. Carley was so cute. I would say each letter of her name and she would make a straight line for each!

I had to edit these photos since we are not allowed to publicly post photos of him or tell his Ethiopian name. I am not very talented (or patient) with the photo editing yet, so this will just have to do for now.

Rusty didn't like the word "Sassy" (the brand name) on his boy's album so I blacked it out with a sharpie! :) He is so afraid that the girls and I will "sissy-fy" his boy!

Hi Evan...We're your family!

2010-01-26T19:11:00.001-05:00

This is Evan's photo album we sent to put in his crib to introduce him to his forever family:

#1 and #2...Destined to meet!

2010-01-24T23:10:00.004-05:00

If you've been reading the blog you know that just before Christmas (when we were #1 on the AGCI infant boy wait list) I found the mom who was #2 on the infant boy wait list and she lived just up the road from me right here in my city in Kentucky! So close that we shop at the same Kroger!

Soon after we "found" each other, Angie (I affectionately call her #2), was talking to her extended family about our unique situation when her sister in law ran upstairs to get something. When she came back down she was holding a scrap of paper that said "Rusty and Cristie C." on it. She said "is this them?" Angie confirms and she explains that her dental hygienist had given her our names back in October. She was getting her teeth cleaned and mentioned that her brother and his wife (Matt and Angie #2) were adopting from Ethiopia. The hygienist, who happened to be my good friend Susan, said "oh I have a friend who is adopting from Ethiopia too!" and wrote down our names and phone number for her to pass along. Well the paper was forgotten about until she heard the story and the name rang a bell.

So come to find out that the Lord has been trying to put us together for a while now! Who would have thought that two families living in KY would both be using an agency in Oregon to adopt infant sons from the same country AND be back to back on the waiting list??? And we found each other just in the nick of time before we both lost our minds!

Thank you Lord for my new BFF Angie! What a gift she has been to me!

January 22, 2010 We receive our travel pack!

2010-01-22T20:15:00.001-05:00

The UPS man comes again! What could be more exciting in the midst of an adoption?? He left this chubby envelope. I was surprised to find this darling frog and birth announcement inside from our Case Worker! It made me cry to read inside:

His name is D
He arrived in our hearts on 1/5/10
Weight 4.46 kg
Length 55 cm
Proud Parents Rusty and Cristie C.

Evan Goes to Soccer!

2010-01-21T20:01:00.003-05:00

Morgan was telling Mr. Keith today about her new soccer season and how her first game was on Daddy's birthday, April 10th. I suddenly realized---Evan will be at her first soccer game (most likely)!!! This makes it seem so real and so near! It's funny how we've gotten so caught up in "adoption" and the trip to Ethiopia that it is hard to imagine "real life" after the trip!

Breaking News Story--We have a court date!

2010-01-20T22:30:00.003-05:00

We were expecting a call from Julie (our caseworker) today to discuss the next steps after accepting our referral. However, when she called she said she had good news...we have a court appointment! That was great news, but there was more to come...the date is February 4! This is much sooner than we had imagined! We were hoping and praying for a court date in February and to travel in March but in the back of my mind I didn't really believe it would happen. I think we have gotten in such a "wait" mode that I just assumed it would be a few more weeks before we heard and then several more before the actual court date. So WOW!!

Julie said the good news is that we have a court date in 2 short weeks, the not-so-good news is that it may be tricky to get the letter of recommendation from the Ministry of Womens Affairs (MOWA) to the court in time. So would you join us in prayer for these issues:

MOWA submit letter of recommendation by 2/4/10.
Transportation for the birth mother who must be present at the court. (8 hour trip)
Proper identification for the birth mother.
Peace in her decision.
Blessings and protection for her.
Favor with the judge for our Case Processor who will represent us in court.

This was the most fun and informative phone call yet! We discussed all that must happen for our court date to be a success. The agency prepares families for more than one court date because about 1/2 the time either the MOWA letter doesn't come or the Birth Mother is unable to make it. We will pray that we will be in the other 1/2 of families who do pass on the first try!

We learned that it is highly unlikely that we will have the opportunity to meet Evan's birth mother since she lives in the Southern region which is an 8 hour car trip. The agency has never had a mother from the South attend a Gotcha Day. I was disappointed to hear this but hopefully we will get a photo of her from court.

Typically it takes 4-6 weeks after passing court for a family to travel. The key is we must be there for an appointment at the US Embassy. There are two US Embassy appointments for March, the 8th and the 22nd. If we are successful in court on the 4th it is possible we could travel on March 6th to get him! This is unbelievable!!

Our next task is to put together 2 photo albums, one for Evan's birth mom and one for Evan--one of the squishy ones he can chew on and keep in his crib! We also need to write a letter to his birth mom. I am hoping God will give me the words for that letter...it makes me cry just to think of it.

Here is the upcoming timetable:

Pass court
One week later receive tentative travel dates
One week later confirm travel dates
Two weeks later travel!

It was SO fun to discuss travel! Here's what it looks like:

Arrive in Addis Ababa on a Saturday night
Sunday morning: attend an orientation
Sunday afternoon: go to Hannah's Hope and meet Evan!
Sunday: bring him "home" to the hotel to show him some KY love!
Monday: Embassy appointment
Tuesday: ?
Wednesday: Cultural dinner with all the families and receive his visa
Thursday: Come home!

We should be receiving a travel package in the mail soon with more details!

I found out there are 6 other families in the same "phase" as us, waiting on court appointments, so I guess these will be our travel buddies. I'd love to hear from you if your reading this!! We will participate in a travel conference call on the 27th and I can't wait!

One more bit of fun news is that our case worker will be in Ethiopia on February 6 and we gave her specific instructions on hugs and kisses for our little man!

This is really an awesome day! I am hopeful to have my baby home for my birthday on March 30! Thank you Lord!

Isaiah 41:9-10 (New International Version)
⁹ I took you from the ends of the earth,
from its farthest corners I called you.
I said, 'You are my servant';
I have chosen you and have not rejected you.
¹⁰ So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Why Adoption?

2010-01-17T19:46:00.003-05:00

One of the big questions we are being asked these days is why we have chosen to adopt. Since we have 3 biological or “homegrown” daughters peoples reaction when they find out we are adopting is a little confused. In today’s culture I think they are confused about a few things:

1. Why do we want more than 3 children?

2. If we do, why don’t we just HAVE another child?

3. Why Ethiopia as opposed to domestic?

So when they ask “what made you decide to adopt?” it is really a loaded question with a lot of underlying possibilities. This is not a five minute answer and it is hard to know exactly how much they want to know. Let’s see if I can explain how God brought us to this place.

Some people say they have know all their lives that they wanted to adopt. That wasn’t me. I wanted to have 2 babies. The reason I wanted to have 2 babies is because that seemed “normal” to me and I just wanted to be normal until 11 years ago when the Lord burst onto the scene of my ordinary life!

See, I knew God the way I knew Elvis. I had heard of him, heard about him, seen photographs/artwork of him, heard of some of his music, even read a little bit about him. But I had never MET him or had a real conversation with him. I believed Elvis existed even though I had never seen him but he wasn’t having any effect on my life. Same with the Lord.

I didn’t know the Lord until I began reading His word--straight from the source and He began to turn my world upside down. He changed the way I thought about everything including my marriage and my future family. He continues to do this as we speak. And this is where this story starts.

When we brought our first daughter home from the hospital, I thought having a baby was hard. Not the pregnancy and delivery--I loved that!--but HAVING our first baby at home was a BIG transition. I was working and I know that contributed to my view of the challenge, but the change that occurs when you go from a couple to a family is profound in my opinion. I had to stop being selfish and self-centered and put someone else’s needs first.

So when my second daughter came along I thought the transition was much easier. Plus, by this time, God was doing great things in our lives. I had quit my job, we had downsized our home, and I was beginning to understand God’s purposes for me as a HOMEMAKER. I wanted another child and it surprised me. But I did.

In 2006 our third daughter was born and really and truly I told my girlfriends, “I think I’m finally getting my groove on with this motherhood thing!” For whatever reason, three felt like things were really starting to get good! So again, I was surprised--but I immediately wanted more! My motto became “the more the merrier!” Morgan and Paige knew what to do and were getting more and more self-sufficient and helpful. I had the time to train them and work with them now that I was home and we were a great team! Now I see Carley following right in their footsteps as she prepares to become a big sister too!

God showed me scriptures like:

Psalm 127:3

3Behold, children are a gift of the LORD,

The fruit of the womb is a reward.

And I began to think “why would I turn down a blessing from God?” And we were (and are) experiencing them as a blessing as we seek His guidance in parenting them. But in my mind, the only option for us was to BIRTH another child.

So one day in August of 2008 we walked in to church oblivious to the fact that God would open up our eyes to another option and start us on our journey to adopt on that very day.

God isn’t in a box, He works in creative ways, ways you and I don’t “naturally” think of or consider.

Isaiah 55:8-9

8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts,

neither are your ways my ways,"

declares the LORD.

9 "As the heavens are higher than the earth,

so are my ways higher than your ways

and my thoughts than your thoughts.

We saw in the bulletin these facts:

There are around 100 million orphans in the world today.

And 2.1 billion professing Christians,

Would Jesus have us ignore their cries?

Why are we not RESCUING these children?

And that word “RESCUE” was so powerful to me and rang over and over in my mind. NEVER had I thought of it as a RESCUE mission, NEVER had I pondered adoption as a Christian responsibility, NEVER had I seen those numbers and thought about how reasonable it was to literally WIPE OUT the orphan crisis just by Jesus followers obeying His command in

James 1:27

27Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

God appointed adoption as a means of rescuing orphans. He used it to rescue me and bring me into His family forever and ever. Because He adopted me and did not leave me as an orphan I have a hope, a future and an inheritance in Heaven! If you are a follower of Christ it is because God chose to adopt you! And He has been clear to me

Matthew 10:8b

8b Freely you have received, freely give.

And so this was the beginning. Rusty and I talked after the service and asked “what is God asking us to do?” We agreed to pray about it more.

Was this the way God wanted to grow our family?

When God wants to speak to me about something He comes at me from every angle and this was no exception. We began to see ADOPTION everywhere we looked.

We got an email from a ministry offering a book about adoption, so we ordered it and began to learn more and gain an understanding of the differences between domestic vs. international adoption.

Our pastor asked us to attend a conference called Together 4 Adoption and he had no idea we were considering adoption.

We attended a discussion group on adoption featuring 2 families who had adopted more than one child internationally and they spoke in depth of their experiences. At the close of the lecture the one father looked into the audience and encouraged us “Just do it. It isn’t as difficult or as expensive as people say. Just do it.”

With each of these experiences we were more and more convinced that this was the leading of the Lord for us. Now, rather than asking “should we do this?” we began to ask “why wouldn’t we do this?” Our daughter said it well, “we have a house, we have clothes, we have extra food, we should do it!”

And so we began to request free information from adoption agencies. We watched each agencies promotional DVD and cried with each one as we saw the faces of so many children without mothers and fathers. Then one day in December of 2008 Rusty came home and announced “enough research, enough discussion, tonight we are going to choose an agency and fill out an application!” And so we did. We sat down with all the info and made a list of a few things that were important to us, compared our list with each agency and made a decision. This was also the night we officially chose Ethiopia. Rus had been leaning toward Ethiopia the whole time mainly because this was the country with the greatest need. But it also met some of our other practical needs as well (length of stay in country, a finalized adoption prior to travel…etc.). We filled out an online application that night. And so the journey began.

One of the other special things God did during this time was to connect me with a friend who does Bible Study with me on Wednesday mornings. Someone put us together because we were both home school moms and she told me her family was adopting from Ethiopia. At that time, this was not even on our radar, so my thought was “how neat for them!” Well the next year when we returned for a new year of Bible Study and I saw Karen; God reminded me of that conversation and I immediately ran to her to share that we TOO were going to adopt from Ethiopia! This was the year we were studying the life of Moses. During that first lecture our teaching leader talked about how Moses was “adopted” into the pharaohs family and that it was all part of God’s plan for his life. This family would offer him education and experiences that he would need for the purposes God had for his future. I had never thought of Moses as “adopted” before? I am constantly amazed at how God can and does speak directly to me through His word even when it would seem impossible! And how God is working ahead of time, preparing the way for us. He knew we were going to adopt long before we did and he purposed Karen and I’s friendship in full knowledge of what was to come.

And that’s not all! (infomercial voice) I later discovered that God had sovereignly placed me in a discussion group with 4 other adoptive moms! Two had adopted domestic, one had adopted international, and one had done a snowflake adoption! Unbelievable!

What a mighty God we serve!

But before God could lead our family into adoption He had to change our hearts about family in general. Leading me to quit my job in pharmaceutical sales, sell our dream home and scale down, and lead my husband on a path to start his own business! This was no small thing! It was a lot of change! Our ways of thinking and attitudes had to change. I had to learn to find value and purpose in my home, in being a wife and mother rather than bringing home a paycheck, dressing up, and having intelligent conversations with doctors. (At least their end was intelligent J)

But this is one of the greatest things about walking with God. He never twists our arm or drags us kicking and screaming to places we don’t want to go. Did you know that? If you are just beginning to walk with God or maybe even investigating Christianity for the first time I think it is natural to wonder “will God make me ____” (fill in the blank)? I remember thinking that if I gave me life to the Lord He might make me go to Africa and be a missionary and that didn’t sound good at all to me at that time. That was only one of my many fears of what He might require of me. Now that I have walked with him for 11 years I am pleased to report that He doesn’t work like that at all. He doesn’t force us to obey Him any more after our new birth than He did before. What I mean is, God doesn’t FORCE people to be saved. If He did, everyone would be a born-again Christian because the Bible says clearly “He doesn’t want any to perish”. We have free choice. So God is always good to change our hearts and minds, to bring us into agreement with Him, into His way of thinking about a matter until we WANT to do it as much as He wants us to do it!

I have said before how I thought home schooling was crazy when I first heard about it! But this was what God wanted for our family so He was patient and continued to teach me more about it, introduce me to HS families I could relate to, and show me the benefits. Then I came to a point where I said “ok, I’ll do it for YOU and for the kids”. But God doesn’t want His children moping around in obedience like a child told to clean their room “OOOOKKKKKK”. No! He wants us rejoicing in obedience!! Now, I can honestly say that I praise God each and every day for the PRIVELEGE to home school my children! He took what I thought was nuts and moved me to a place where it is one of my greatest gifts!

What an awesome God we serve!

This is how He handled adoption for us too. Though I have to say, I am much less resistant now that I have seen and experienced what obedience is like. It didn’t take nearly as long to change our hearts for adoption as it did to home school.

But we all have fears about the unknown. Whatever it is that God is leading you into today, don’t hesitate to pour out all of your questions, fears, and misgivings to Him. He is the one with the answers. And though He may not give them all to you, He will offer you the courage and faith to trust His plan. And you will receive the blessings that follow obedience! I can say that with certainty!

So if you think that God is trying to take away all your fun and turn you into a weirdo like me---you’d be surprised how much fun it is!!

No visitors allowed at Hannah's Hope...

2010-01-16T00:29:00.003-05:00

We actually have 2 friends who will be going to Ethiopia to get their children in the next few weeks so I asked AGCI if they could stop and check in on Evan at Hannah's Hope. The answer was "no". Evidently only AGCI families and mission workers are allowed in order to keep things flowing and without interruption there. We are disappointed but understanding. We are getting more and more excited all the time about being there!!

We received two new unexpected photos of Evan last night that another Mom had taken while she was at Hannah's Hope! Talk about a blessing! Wow! Carley said he was "as cute as a button"! I don't know where she heard that expression, but it sure was darling coming out of her mouth!

One flock, One Shepherd

2010-01-15T23:53:00.006-05:00

I picked up two principals this week at Bible Study that I want to share with you. Both are from John chapter 10.

John 10
The Shepherd and His Flock
¹"I tell you the truth, the man who does not enter the sheep pen by the gate, but climbs in by some other way, is a thief and a robber. ²The man who enters by the gate is the shepherd of his sheep. ³The watchman opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. ⁴When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice.

¹⁴"I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me— ¹⁵just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep. ¹⁶I have other sheep that are not of this sheep pen. I must bring them also. They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one flock and one shepherd.

It is so comforting to know that Jesus is my shepherd and that He goes ahead of me. Not only to show me the way, but also to take care of things before I get there. He is brave and protective. As we walk through this adoption (and every other unpredictable part of life) He is there, forging ahead of us, making a way, blazing the trail, preparing a place for us. Thank you Jesus.

And then also this idea of ONE flock and ONE shepherd. The one true living God is a God of unity. He is ONE shepherd watching over ONE flock. He doesn't see us through the divisions of denominations, race, economics, language, or any other barrier. The only division HE sees is in our response to His son Jesus. Have we accepted Him and bowed our knee, or have we rejected Him. This is meaningful to me now as I know that others may look at our "new" family and see division between "biological" and "adopted", between black and white, but my God just sees our family, perfectly designed by Him.

Revising my lingo...

2010-01-15T23:26:00.005-05:00

My friend left her little boy here for us to watch the other day and it was so neat to have a little man in the house--a little sneak peek of what is to come!! I had to keep correcting myself because I am so used to the female terms of affection like "sissy", or the group call "ladies". So I am trying to come up with a list of male nicknames. Here's what I have so far...

Buddy
Son
Bubba
Bubby
Champ
Slugger

I also need to start transitioning into terms like "the kids" rather than "the girls", or "ladies and gentleman" instead of simply "ladies". :) So much to think about! Please respond with your favorite boy terms so I can increase my repertoire. Thanks.

Prayer for Evan...

2010-01-15T23:14:00.003-05:00

My sweet friend Karen, who is also adopting from Ethiopia, wrote this prayer for Evan and gave it to me:

Dear Father,
We pray Baby Evan will have a mind that meditates on what is good and not what is evil. That You will give him eyes that see You working all around him, and ears that listen for Your voice of wisdom and instruction. We pray his tongue will speak the truth and proclaim the Gospel of Jesus Christ, while his lips sing Your praises before men. May You give him a compassionate heart that loves all kinds of people, and may he have gentle hands that serve You and those around him. We pray his knees will become calloused from persistent praying and his feet will walk in paths of righteousness all the days of his life.
Amen.

Referral Acceptance Papers are officially at AGCI!

2010-01-14T22:11:00.004-05:00

I guess overall this was the easiest batch of papers we've had to fill out yet. Rus was going to try to be helpful and do them for us until he saw the Transition plan that was several pages long and looked like they were asking for essay type answers and then he ran screaming from the room! OK, he didn't really scream or run...:) but he knew that neither his penmanship nor his creative writing skills were going to "make the grade" for something this important! We overnighted the packet back to AGCI on Tuesday (one week from our referral date). The lady at the UPS store asked me if I was sending anything illegal or dangerous--I laughed out loud! I said "no, we're not that exciting!" I then shared how exciting these papers really were and she shared that she too is an adoptive mom and we had a great conversation!

Julie called on Wednesday to say we had forgotten to initial the bottom of the medical papers--I share this for all other AGCI families because it is something you may easily overlook. So, we printed them again, initialed them, and spent another $29. to overnight them. Now it is Thursday and all is well. Julie emailed to let me know she has everything and we are moving ahead!

Winter Fun

2010-01-11T09:45:00.003-05:00

We don't get much snow in KY, so when it does snow, it is BIG FUN! The girls have been out every day pulling each other around in the sled, chasing Cooper, and "shoveling"!

Pause and Prepare

2010-01-11T00:16:00.007-05:00

Morgan(age 10) said "wouldn't it be great if we could just press PAUSE on Evan until we can get there to get him?" I think it is a GREAT idea!

When I first saw his face on the computer screen I called him "D", his Ethiopian name, the name our CW called him on the phone. We named him Evan a year ago when we began this journey, and found out later that it means "God is good". It was about an hour after THE CALL when I looked at his photo and called him Evan and knew it was really HIM! Something shifted in my brain and I knew this was Evan!

All this last year when we have tried to imagine him it was so difficult because we didn't know if he would be a 4 month old infant, a 6 month old sitting up, a 9 month old crawler, or a 12 month old walker? An expectant mom wants to buy clothes for her sweetie pie but all I could buy were BIBS! That is the only thing I could be sure would fit! Not only didn't I know what size he would need but also what season? So I still don't know exactly when we will get there to pick him up, but I certainly have much more to go on than ever before and I am thrilled! Some friends are planning baby showers which is wonderful since we don't own anything BOY at our house! What is it again? Snips and snails and puppy dog tails? Sounds interesting, I think I'm going to need some help. :)

We talked to our adoption educator on the phone the other night about attachment issues and babies having difficulty bonding to their new parents. I began to think about how our family has been preparing for Evan for almost 13 months now. We have been talking about him, including him in all our "family discussions", decorating a room for him, buying him gifts and toys, and praying constantly for him. We are prepared to receive him. But Evan, on the other hand, is he prepared for us? There is no way for him to know that we are here in Kentucky loving him and longing for him. There is no way to prepare a three month old for his family. And so when we walk in the orphanage on that extra special day and we are already head over heels for him and rush in to shower him with kisses...is he going to be like "hey, who are these people and why are they all up in my space??" It is a very one-sided preparation huh? So I will pray for God to prepare Evan for what is to come. To prepare him for Daddy's hairy arms and for Mommy's constant clapping, for Morgan's piano playing, for Paige's ballet dancing, and for Carley's "peet-a-boo". Sweet Evan--we can't wait to overwhelm you with our pent-up love!

So what happens after THE CALL?

2010-01-10T22:54:00.008-05:00

I did have the peace of mind to get out a pen and paper and write down much of what my case-worker told me on the phone about our son. But once the dust had settled I began to wonder "what comes next?" and realized I had no idea. :)

THE DAZE: Well, I must admit I was in a complete adrenalin-induced daze! I remember when Morgan (my oldest) was born around midnight and I don't think I slept at all that night. My mind was racing re-living every moment of that spectacular day trying to burn it all into my brain so I would never forget how wonderful it was. Getting THE CALL was the same way. Overwhelming relief mixed with unspeakable joy! I didn't think I would sleep at all Tuesday night after seeing Evan's face for the first time. Can you even imagine how strange it is to scroll down an email to see your new son's face? The face you've been dreaming of for over a year? Well I did sleep, I completely crashed about 11:30 pm, total exhaustion.

THE PACKET: The agency overnights a package of papers to fill out to accept the referral. Ours went to our old address--one of the joys of moving so often, so they had to send another one. The packet is pretty simple, lots of repeats of forms we have done before, or at least very similar. I have filled out the writing portion and we will take them to the bank tomorrow to be notarized and get them in the mail. Only one form is dependent on someone else and that is the one our social worker must sign and mail in so let's pray that she is fast with that. My understanding is that these papers are all for the agency though and won't slow down anything happening in Ethiopia which is where all the REALLY important stuff is happening right now!

THE DOCTOR: We emailed all the referral info to our international pediatrician so she could decipher the reports, tests, and most of all--the handwriting of the Ethiopian docs. She called on Wednesday afternoon and reviewed everything with Rusty. At the end she asked "any questions?" and Rusty looks down at his one inch post-it note where he has scratched out "HIV, Hep A, Hep B, parasites" and says "uh, no, but I think my wife might have some" :) Men just don't take notes like women huh?! So she offered to call me back later that night to discuss. The bottom line was she didn't have any real concerns and said "he's a keeper!" which we already knew! What a relief and an answered prayer not to have to labor over any health concerns.

THE ACCEPTANCE: Once we talked with the Dr. I called Julie (our CW) to let her know that we were accepting the referral and she said she would get in touch with the director at Hannah's Hope (our agency transition home where Evan is now) to begin to translate and authenticate our documents. They will blend Evan's file with our file to go to the appropriate legal offices. It could be a few weeks before we hear about our court date. Our prayer is to have a successful court date in February and travel in March.

THE CONFERENCE CALL: Next was an hour long conference call with the agency's adoption educator to discuss behavior, attachment, sleep issues...etc. This call was helpful in filling out some of the papers in the packet so I would recommend taking the call ASAP after your referral. It was similar to the things we learned during the education portion of the dossier.

More celebration photos...

2010-01-08T21:26:00.000-05:00

What a dedicated support system! Angelia's husband was at the Urgent Treatment Center with a broken finger when this photo was taken. She just couldn't wait another minute to see little Evan's face! Angelia was one of our first friends to know about our decision to adopt--she is a very intuitive friend who doesn't let much slip by and she also knows how to interrogate her subject! ha ha

This is my friend Myra. We graduated high school together but lost touch until Facebook came along and we discovered that we both had 3 daughters and were in the process of adopting sons internationally! She recently brought home precious 2 year old Sam from China! She has been a fantastic resource and rock of support for me!

My friend Stefany. A mutual friend hooked us up at the beginning of our adoption journey. Stefany brought her little Ethiopian prince, Jordan, home in May 2009. It is so nice to have other moms who understand this process! Stefany has rejoiced and mourned with me more than once on this roller coaster and when we got the news of the referral she was there right away! She even brought brownies!!

Romans 12:15

Rejoice with those who rejoice;

mourn with those who mourn.

The CALL celebration...

2010-01-07T00:09:00.005-05:00

My first phone call was to Angie (#2 on the AGCI waiting list for boys). We had made plans to get together at my house at 3pm. This would be our first face-to-face meeting since we "met" on December 20 on the listserv (AGCI's chat group). You can imagine how shocked we were to find out that not only do we live in the same city in KY but also shop at the very same grocery store! Our houses are less than two miles apart! Only God could put this story together. After seeing my listserv posting about being #1 on the boys list Angie sent me an email to "introduce" herself. She suggested I find her on facebook. I did, and when her photo came up it said we had one mutual friend. "How strange" I'm thinking? I take a look at her profile and see my city and my state!! Both of us using an adoption agency in Oregon, both of us adopting infant boys, back to back on the waiting list! Unreal.

Rusty got home and was covered in white primer--he literally looked like a ghost! He had been painting a basement! I had one photo up on one laptop and another photo up on the other laptop and then some printed in the chair! It was "surround sound Evan!" He goes up to get in the shower and the chaos begins...

Angie and her darling baby boy (homegrown) come over at 3 and we rejoice over our referral and goo over the photos, but not for long because her cell phone starts ringing. The ID says AGCI. She says "it's probably just my check in call". And that's when the screaming began! It was her referral call and she freaked out! At this point my friends Angelia and Stephanie are both at the house and we are all crying and clapping and jumping up and down. The kids come up from the basement to see what all the commotion is about. I bet Angie wasn't at my house for 15 minutes total. She packed up her son and flew back out to get home and continue the phone call with her husband and their computer!! It was AMAZING to get to share that moment with her! We were instant friends because of our common cause and now we are undoubtedly friends for life because of the way God has so beautifully knit our stories together.

The next few hours was a whirlwind of phone calls and visits. I felt as high as a kite, exactly how I felt after giving birth each time. I was sure I wouldn't sleep because the adrenaline was so strong.

Angie and her husband Matt came back over around 7 and we celebrated together over pizza. The kids played and we got to see the photos of their handsome son Micah. God is good.

The CALL we've been waiting for...

2010-01-06T23:00:00.009-05:00

So if you read Monday (the 4th) nights post you know that I was at the end of my (waiting) rope. I woke up Monday thinking "ok, new day, new week, new month, even NEW YEAR...it is time for our referral!" But Monday wasn't our day, so I went on bedrest! :) What we did get on Monday was an email from our CW saying she would be calling Monday or Tuesday for our monthly update. I took this as a warning not to get too excited when I saw ACGI on the caller ID because they didn't have a referral for us. How frustrating.

Tuesday morning I woke up and talked to God about 2 things: 1-Please take this (adoption) out of my mind, even for just one hour today, PLEASE, because I am all consumed. 2-I cannot go to BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) on Wednesday morning without a photo. There are 400 women in my BSF class and each one of them (well maybe not EVERY one of them) are watching our adoption progress, which is great, yet difficult when week after week I have to say "no, we still haven't heard anything." So I pleaded with God not to make me go back without a photo and seriously contemplated skipping, which anyone who knows me knows I LOVE my BSF!! It's my big day out-on-the-town! So those were my 2 prayer topics for Tuesday a.m.

I made it through a good school morning and came upstairs to fix lunch. I called my hub on the cell and while we were talking the home phone starts ringing (it's 12:50 pm). I see AGCI on the ID and started to hang up with Rus (assuming it is the check-up call) when he said "no, I want to stay on the line, just set the phone down and answer it!" So I answered and Julie says "I have good news for you. I thought I was going to be calling with your update, but I'm not...I have a referral for you!" My husband says all he heard was "Hello....sob, sniffle, flat out bawl!" and he knew it was good news. He hung up and jumped in the truck to come home!! :) Seriously, I had to take a moment to collect myself before she could say anything else. The floodgates were open! Six weeks of pent up anxiety suddenly broke free in an avalanche of relief, disbelief, and PRAISE!

So Julie filled me in on our son born in late September (he's about 3.5 months). Come to find out the reason our referral took so long is that he was in the hospital due to dehydration for a few days and they wanted to be sure all was well before placing him. So not only did I get my referral but my God was gracious enough to reveal the reason for the wait (which He didn't have to do) this was such a blessing to us! My good friend also pointed out how difficult it would have been for us over the holidays if we had his referral and knew he was hospitalized. Wow, thank you Lord, You really do "have the whole world in Your hands"! Evan seems to be doing really well now; eating and sleeping fine.

The girls did SO well during the phone call! They sat and ate their lunch as quiet as little mice. Morgan would walk over and see what I was writing down and then report back to the Paige and Carley in whispers what she was learning. When we got off the phone the girls and I immediately go to the office to fire up the laptop and open the email to see his picture. Of course it gives me trouble, I mean how could it possibly work fast enough when it holds the image I have dreamed about for the last 12.5 months??? It is the strangest feeling to be scrolling down an email to see your brand new babies face for the first time! That's just not how it happened with the girls! :) So we looked and the girls oooohed and aaaaahed over him and then I turned on the tv for them so I could really "get down to business"! First I must really inspect him from head to toe. The first picture he was in a sleeper with feet and all and I'm thinking "strip him down--I want to see arms, legs, and especially some feet!!" PTL they did take some photos in just a onesie so I could see MORE! He really is "fearfully and wonderfully made". Just adorable. Couldn't be happier.

I am officially on (self-proclaimed) BED-REST !

2010-01-04T16:42:00.005-05:00

I've done all I can do, I've handled this wait the best I could for as long as I can, and now, in my own professional opinion, I must go on bedrest. At 12.5 months pregnant who can blame me? Just me and my laptop. Please bring food occasionally.

Seriously, Rusty and I talked last night that we are simply paralyzed by this wait. We are constantly saying "after we get the referral...". The scariest part is that after we get the referral we simply move into another waiting period (waiting for a court date). I can't even think about that. They tell me only about 50% of the court dates are successful on the first try. Can't think about that either (la la la la I can't hear that!!). Don't even let me see your blog if you lost a referral in any way, shape, or form--I jump off that site as fast as my finger can hit the X button! I also refuse to read any blogs that have timelines that don't agree with my "ideal", or what I have deemed reasonable and normal. I could be losing my mind, unsure at this point. It's ok though because I'm in bed where it's safe.

We got an email from the agency today "warning" us that they will be calling in the next 2 days for a regular monthly update. I guess they are familiar with #1 Moms (or probably anywhere in the top 10) who see the caller ID and flip out instantly thinking it is their referral and they have simply called to check in. They said they would answer any questions we have.

That's easy.

WHERE IS MY SON?

That's it. Just one question.

The question is, can I say that much without crying?

Or, as my friend suggested, just let Rus answer and listen in on the other phone so there is just a low sobbing in the background.

Really, is it just me or is 6 weeks too long to be #1 on the waitlist?

Isn't 12.5 months of longing for a baby boy a little much?

147 Million orphans and not one to bring home to our family?

The room is ready, the crib is empty and just longing to be spit up in :).

The sisters are pumped, prayerful and ready to pounce!

Dad is ready for his little buddy and Mom is ready for bottles and diapers, singing and rocking!

All we need is our little Evan boy.

Please Lord, let today be the day we see his face.

Oh Lord, rescue him because You delight in him, take hold of him and draw him out!

Psalm 18:16,19

Another fun project...

2010-01-04T16:14:00.005-05:00

One of our other favorites this Christmas was the cards I had made out of family photos. The girls love to play "Go Fish" and "Concentration" so I had doubles made of photos of friends, family and important events so they could "match" them. I designed a back for the cards and took them to Office Max to be laminated. It's a little pricey but the kids think it is great to ask "do you have Ma Maw?" or "do you have Morgan's 9th Birthday Party?" It is a great way to familiarize the kids with people who are important to you but you don't get to see very often. I know my girls will feel more comfortable around these special people after looking at the pictures and "playing" with them every day! It has also been good to talk about who is married to who and quiz the girls on "who is her Mommy/Daddy/Brother/Sister?"...etc. So make sure you have your camera handy and start snapping some individual shots of your peeps!

Our Puzzle Project

2010-01-02T21:49:00.006-05:00

I bought this puzzle the end of November as a way to keep the family busy while we wait. It is a farm scene called "Daddy's Little Helper" that will go with Evan's "Barn Dance" theme room. I thought I would modge podge it and frame it on the wall. Well, my resolve didn't last long on this project and neither did the girls! Who knew how many pieces 1,000 was??? The most memorable moment was when Rus spent an hour putting the tractor together only to find Carley hovered over it later saying "Daddy look how much I helped!" (she had taken it completely apart and even seperated the pieces!!) Anyway, Rusty stuck with it to the end only to find one piece missing! This really isn't terribly surprising considering Carley's "help" and all the other chaos in the house. He was so disappointed until our good friend pointed out the clear significance. Our family is missing a piece right now as well. He suggested we actually highlight the missing piece by painting under it a bright yellow or orange and continue with the plan to frame and hang it along with a note that explains that our family is incomplete until Evan comes home. So cool.

Adoption T-shirts for the Family!

2010-01-02T20:38:00.005-05:00

One of our favorite gifts this Christmas were the t-shirts I bought online at this great site I found called www.cafepress.com . They have every type of adoption t-shirt you can imagine and most can even be specific to the country you are adopting from. If you know someone who is adopting this would be an awesome gift! The prices were very reasonable and we were pleased with the quality too.

Happy New Year!

2010-01-02T01:14:00.004-05:00

It blows my mind that it is 2010 and we don't have a photo of Evan yet! I didn't think I could make it to Thanksgiving without seeing his face, then Christmas, and now the new year! I am twelve and a half monthes pregnant and I can feel it!!

Also, this new blogging thing is really getting me off my schedule :) I am staying up much too late and not wanting to get out of bed in the morning! I have a feeling this is only the beginning of a new crazy schedule!

Talked to the Agency last night...

2009-12-31T13:45:00.003-05:00

Rusty called AGCI yesterday and finally got in touch with one of the case workers. She really didn't have any new information for us, but it feels better just to stay in touch. Basically she told us a little more about the transition home (Hannah's Hope). This is where all the AGCI children stay until their families come to pick them up. This home houses 60 children and cannot take any more on until the ones that are there go home with their forever families. There was a group of families that traveled on Christmas day, I don't know how many? And another group due to travel on January 8. So there is some movement in the works, but no one is able to tell us if our baby is at HH waiting on medical testing...etc? or still in a government run orphanage waiting to come to HH? I have this loop of Tom Petty's song running constantly in my head "the waaaiting is the hardest part..." Not exactly spiritual, but true!

Night before last I was up until 3am working on the blog, reading others blogs, and watching "gotcha day" videos. Last night I was in bed at 7:30pm because I was DONE. What a roller coaster. I must admit it is nearly identical to the last weeks of all 3 of my pregnancies. I get very anxious at the end. With Carley I was up at 3am taking baths because I couldn't sleep. I remember laying there in misery saying "how much longer Lord?" With all 3 I stood over their empty cribs asking the same question. Once again, here I am, with an empty crib and an aching heart. The only good news is... I'm skinny!! ha ha. The thing that makes this one so much harder is that there is no guarantee. With my pregnancies I knew my Dr. wouldn't let me go over the 40 week mark, he would induce. With this "paper pregnancy" there are no guarantees, no end in sight. Not to mention the fact that it has already been more than a year since we filled out our first application and I was ready that very day for my sweet baby! So, in my estimation, I am VERY much OVERDUE! It is my uncomfortable, frustrating, anxiety producing, all-consuming desire.

For now I will stand on this:

The Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore. Psalm 121:8

That goes for Evan in Ethiopia and us here too!
Don't we serve an awesome God who can keep up with everything?!

2009-12-30T10:48:00.002-05:00

We bought this book at the Cincinnati Homeschool convention and it is the sweetest book ever! It touches on many important questions a little one might have and answers in a simple, loving way.

Evan's bedding

2009-12-30T10:31:00.003-05:00

When the agency called and said we were #3 I went into panic mode and immediately had to go out shopping to find his bedding and bed. We had lots of fun shopping and the whole family agreed on this Cotton Tale design called "Barn Dance". We got a black crib and dresser and are painting our glider chair black as well. The room looks great, now all we need is baby Evan!

Why Wouldn't I?

2009-12-30T10:26:00.004-05:00

Please take a few minutes to watch this video at the bottom of the page. What a great testimony regarding adoption! I couldn't believe this wife said the EXACT same thing I have said to my husband ever since our youngest was born..."they're not all here!" I would line up the girls and fix their hair and still be waiting for the next one to come in... (though I guess Evan's hair won't need as much upkeep :)

The other thing he says that we have said over and over is "we have a home, extra food, lots of love..." so why wouldn't we?? There isn't a good reason, so we are!!

Another day, a new opportunity...

2009-12-30T02:19:00.003-05:00

Every day I wake up and think, "is today the day I will see his face?" and every day I go to bed thinking "really God, not today either??" We were under the impression that at least one baby boy was being referred each week so when they told us we were #1 we just KNEW it would only be a day or so before we would see our son! Now it has been nearly 6 weeks at the #1 spot. A friend commented "there are rock bands who would love that status!" We are not a rock band and would like to be OFF the chart completely and on a plane to pick up our baby!! It is difficult to wait and not knowing what is going on makes it all the more difficult. Our case worker is out of the office until the 4th but we have been assured that the other Ethiopia case workers will handle our referral in her absence. I sure hope that is what happens because I can't imagine waiting for the 4th. Having said that, I said I couldn't wait until Thanksgiving...so...
Each day I think of a reason why it would be the PERFECT day to get the referral. It's amazing how many reasons I can invent.

Blogging is hard work!

2009-12-30T01:26:00.003-05:00

So I am FINALLY breaking down and starting a blog...evidently it is a required LAW when you are adopting! :) I began a few weeks ago but just couldn't bring myself to tell anyone until I had at least a few "bells and whistles" on it! So I have been on here for several hours (it's late, the girls are in bed!) trying to make this look like some of the really neat ones I have seen. Of course I have messed it up and had to do some repair work during this process too which is a pain in the neck. So if your looking at this and you are an experienced blogger and want to educate me on some things, I would appreciate any help you may offer! Otherwise, maybe this will keep me occupied until my little sweetie comes home.

2009-12-26T19:16:00.001-05:00

Make a Smilebox greeting

Thanks for the "bone" Lord!

2009-12-21T21:51:00.002-05:00

I have asked the Lord more than a few times over these past 4 weeks to "throw me a bone" :). We thought we would have a referral within a few days of being #1 on the wait list. . . but God has other plans that are higher than ours. Well today I got my "bone"! I finally got connected on the Yahoo group for our agency and got into contact with another mom who is #2 on the wait list and when I searched her on Facebook we had a mutual friend??? It was a girl from my church. Upon further investigation I find that she is from my same city!! We email and eventually have a "live" phone conversation this afternoon (for one hour) and discover we live maybe 2 miles apart! This is especially unusual since our agency is in Oregon and we live in KY. Unbelievable! I have just walked around on a cloud that God would arrange all this! Hopefully we can travel together, but most importantly, I have a friend to talk to who is walking the same path as we are right now. We were instant friends!

The Waiting is the Hardest Part...

2009-12-14T22:43:00.001-05:00

We have been waiting for our referral for 3 weeks and 4 days now.